So not only am I a wife and a mother but I am also a student, a member of the greatest Sorority ever created Zeta Phi Beta, friend, neighbor, home trained nurse (thanks to webMD and google lol), self trained chef, sister, daughter, calendar keeper, grocery list maker, social planner and most importantly a worry wart, and some would even mention pessimist as well as judge and jury lol. My previous posts discussed my role as wife and mother and friend or at least who I am not a friend to, but I guess I can now explore the other roles I play.
I am finishing up my law school career. Long story short I will have one class left after this semester. Thank God because I have discovered that I have a great disdain for law school and I think the feeling is mutual. It has been a long hard road but one that I wouldn't change for anything in the world. If I hadn't taken a leap of faith and moved to San Diego for law school I would have never met my husband (who is also part of the reason that I almost flunked out after my very first semester of law school lol. That's not really the entire truth. The truth is that I didn't prioritize my time properly and I didn't study hard enough the first semester because I had no idea what I was doing and I ended up on academic probation but ever since then I have excelled beyond even my own expectations.) and I wouldn't have made some of the best friends in my life. Anyhow after having moved to Japan finishing law school has been a very different experience. I have learned that law school professors and technology don't mix well and for some they should never mix at all because it is almost always an epic fail. This semester not only is my class required to meet in a virtual class room but the program for this virtual class room has changed and the professors are so technologically inept that they spend more class time trying to figure out what the hell they are doing than they do teaching. It's so extremely frustrating I spend the rest of the class trying to refocus on the class and less on my frustration. (Which in itself is extremely distracting. I know that sounds contradictory but I also have self diagnosed ADHD but if you knew me you know this is completely accurate.) This semester I am in a class with a group of grandparents, yes actual grandparents. One guy has something like 8 grandkids. So as you can imagine his technological difficulties are often worse than the professors which is even more distracting! These people are extreme over achievers because they are at a special point in their lives. They have nothing else to do with their time than read more books so they are excited about taking more classes. Me on the other hand, I am so over law school I just want to pass and move on. I have no interest in the lives of these other people and could care less if they have any interest in me. So every class I just grin and bear it now. Especially since the other people in the class can actually see me the entire time I really do grin and bear it. (One of these old guys whose name sounds like he is part of the Taliban pointed out on the second day of class that I looked too serious. I wanted to tell him to shove it but I'm sure he meant no harm so I just fixed my face and kept it pushing. Besides, like I said his name sounds like I should keep an eye out for him. LOL And trust me when I say that if he looks at me sideways I am going to submit his name to NCIS lol.) Oh man I just sounded like my dad right then. I guess that means I am getting old and bitter lol. So that is my student hat.
My Zeta hat was recently dusted off and I am excited to say that it still fits! I guess you can never outgrow being a Zeta no matter how much weight you gain or lose. Recently was our Founder's Day celebration. My husband, poor guy, has never had any experience with Black Greek Lettered Organizations and even with me being a Zeta he knew that I am but because I was in law school I didn't have time to be active so he never got to experience it. Now that I am in Japan and need to make some friends I decided to reach out to the chapter here. The Founder's Day celebration was small but exciting nonetheless. I was so happy to be around Blue and White again but my poor husband felt out of place, not to mention that he was actually really sick but stuck it out so he could go with me. He has absolutely no understanding of Greek life and his extremely limited experience makes him feel like, "Greek life is for college, you graduated so why does it matter now?" I tried to explain it to him but it was an epic fail. So for now I just left it at its a great networking tool and a way for me to make friends no matter where he gets stationed. He's ok with the sorority but he struggles with the idea of the constitutional bond to Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity Inc. He doesn't understand the Sigma/Zeta bond and that those men are no threat to him. But regardless I am excited to be back and active again. I have missed being an active Zeta so much and it feels like going home again...well almost.
webMD and google, I can diagnose almost any common ailment. I have learned how to treat the common cold in an infant, fix my husbands many bumps and bruises and most importantly when to call a doctor lol. Recently my poor little angel gave me a good scare. We woke up early, as usual, and like every other morning I got up and cared for her before even trying to go potty myself. After getting Olivia out of her crib and getting her a clean diaper I placed her on the living room floor on her play mat (the mat has a pretty cool little mobile that hangs over it that plays music and has a tent like structure that holds up the mobile.), she was sitting up like she has been doing for months now. She was playing with her toys and as I walked out of the room I yelled to my husband, "I love you! Have a good day, and be safe!" like I do every morning, as he walked out the door to work. Then Olivia started fussing since she couldn't see me. As I was finishing up my business in the bathroom (I was only in there maybe a minute.) I heard a thump then a scream and then it stopped. I was scared! I ran out of the bathroom to check on her and she was laying on the floor playing with a ball and seemed fine. I washed my hands and made her a bottle picked her up off the floor and proceeded to feed her the bottle. She drank less than an ounce and became extremely lethargic. Then she fell asleep. I didn't think much of it since I figured maybe she just wasn't hungry and was just sleepy, it was only 7:30am (that's early for me). As she layer on the couch she woke up when she threw up all over my couch. It was then that my "self taught nursing skills" kicked in. I connected the dots and thought she might have a concussion and called a doctor, who instructed me to bring her in right away. I called my husband so he could come home from work and take us to medical right away. The doctor instructed us that he thought she was fine but that if she threw up again then to bring her back right away because it could be that she had some head trauma. We took her home and just a few minutes before I had to go pick my husband up from work for lunch Olivia threw up again all over me, the couch, the ottoman, and the floor. Luckily this time I didn't have to call my husband away from work. I picked him up and we went straight to medical. In a matter of minutes we were ushered into an ambulance and taken to the big Navy base where the hospital is (about an hour by car) and it was in the ER that we were informed that they sent us there because they thought she might need a CT scan. Fortunately for us, the doctor explained the risks and benefits to us and made a thorough examination of Olivia and suggested we don't get the scan because she didn't believe it to be necessary and the risk of too much radiation a was too great. She had a mild concussion and the doctor suggested we continue to monitor her and gave us a list of symptoms to watch out for and to bring her back immediately if she had any of those symptoms. By the grace of God we didn't have to return to the ER! That is by far the scariest day of my life. No parent should ever have to experience their child being treated in the ER ever. I was blessed that there is nothing wrong with Olivia, and they think she probably just had a stomach bug that coincidentally showed up the same day Olivia took a spill. A week later Olivia is doing great and feeling well. That day I wore my nurse and worry wart hats. Let me tell you I would much rather that I never wear that worry wart hat ever again but I think it hides within my hair simply because I am a mother.
All the other hats I wear are more like pins that go on my wife, mother, and student hat. Sadly if you know me and you know the recent decision I have made you know I should be wearing some form of a hat...literally. As a Black woman I have struggled my entire life with controlling my hair and I have taken some drastic measures to get it under control. I have relaxed it, pressed it, braided it, cut it short, colored it; pretty much everything but simply comb it and love it the way God created it. Until I moved to Japan I had never lived somewhere so hot and humid. And quite frankly heat and humidity doesn't mix well with heat or chemically straightened hair. So after having Olivia I decided I was going to go natural! I was going to take the plunge and grow out my hair and stop chemically relaxing it and just use heat to straighten it. Now my hair has become a heaping mess and it often is wrapped up into a ponytail and should be covered in a hat...literally. Thankfully my husband truly loves me unconditionally because there are days when my hair looks horrible and when I say I have a bad hair day it usually means my hair is not cooperating with me and just looks worse the harder I try to make it look decent. But in the long run I have never seen my hair be so long and strong as I have now. It is thick and yes nappy as all get out, but strong. The new growth has its problems too but does not break off like the chemically damaged hair that is left. In about a month I will be taking the next step and chopping off all the old hair. By then my hair will be long enough to be put into a pony tail and I am getting so excited! I can't wait. In the mean time I need to put on my brave hat and call the lady whose contact info was given to me and get my hair braided!. Until then I am going to find a cute hat to rock! And I have made the decision to teach my beautiful Olivia to love the hair God gave us so that she never has to go through this crazy process of "going natural" and to teach her how to care for her hair so she can always stay natural.
The other hat I should be wearing is that of workout feign. No I am not a feign about working out. In fact I hate it almost as equally as I hate getting shots and giving blood. After having Olivia I weighed less the day I left the hospital than I did before I got pregnant. And at my 6 week check up I was 20 lbs less than when I got pregnant. Sadly enough when I arrived in Japan I started packing on the pounds. After being here only 2 months I had gained nearly 30lbs. When I had to order new pants in a larger size it was then that I made a conscious decision to live a healthier life style. Making the decision was easy. Actually doing it has been the most difficult thing in my life. I love food. I love to cook. For me the only art like expression of my creativity is cooking. (If you ask my older sister she will tell you I came out of the womb bossing people around and I lack any and all forms of creativity). I am not a picky eater and I have used food to comfort me nearly my entire life. What makes it even more difficult is that I AM LAZY! Yup I said it. I admit it! I am lazy! Although recently I discovered that I don't really mind working out. In fact once I get my lazy ass up I have no problem working out. But I always seem to have an excuse. I don't have the time because I don't have anyone to watch Olivia or when I am at home it seems like I can easily use Olivia as an excuse to sit on my ass and do nothing but hold her and play with her. But as of a week ago I made the conscious decision to do more than decide to lose weight and get healthy. I decided to actually do something. I bought some fitness games for the our Wii which I have been actually playing...diligently, and I am watching what I eat and I try to not put bad stuff in my mouth lol (which is proving to be more difficult than originally planned! Bread is loaded with calories and I love it so much!). I purchased some protein powder to make protein shakes as a substitute for breakfast (which is actually working! the flavor I bought is carmel chocolate and it tastes really good because it actually tastes like cake batter not carmel chocolate lol.) I have gone against my own personal belief against diet pills and purchased some too. It may not be the healthiest decision I have ever made but I need all the help I can get and if the diet pills are going to get me to the goal line then so be it! (so far the best part about them is they are so packed full of energy boosters I don't feel so tired all the time.) Anyhow the gist of this is that I am genuinely trying to be better, look better, feel better, do better and be a healthier happier me. I guess this is a process in learning to love myself. So here's to a better me! Cheers.
Shout out to all the people who have taken the time to read my blog. I hope you enjoy my crazy stories, and continue to follow me through my journey as a Navy wife. Until next time....
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