Holidays in Japan

Ok so first I have to apologize for the extreme typos in the last post. I have a 7 month old who has found a love and fascination with my computer and she wanted to make her "editions" to the blog lol. But I hope you got the gist of the story I was telling.

Moving on. When I came here I knew almost nothing about Japanese culture and with my very ethnocentric view point (I'm ashamed to admit it but I was so naive but I am learning everyday and loving it.) I just assumed the Japanese celebrated the same holidays as us "stupid Americans" lol. Oh how I was wrong...but still very right.  So just a little back ground. Only 4% of Japanese are Christian. The other 96% are Buddhist, or Shinto or a combination of the two. In fact the majority practice both not just one or the other, and even some of the Christians follow Buddhism and Shinto as well. So after learning this, to which I was try shocked, (but if you learn even a tiny bit of Japanese history you will learn that Japan remained very isolated especially from Europe until the 19th Century and then there was only limited interaction).

Anyhow first came Halloween. Since I had just learned that the majority of the Japanese people were not Catholic or Christian I figured that they would not celebrate Halloween. (All though it originated as a Pagan holiday it transformed into a Catholic/Christian holiday when Christianity migrated to the Celtic lands during the 800s A.D.) But to my surprise Halloween is a huge holiday here in Japan. I have yet to understand the Japanese celebration of Halloween but I have come to the conclusion that their fascination with Americans has made Halloween a celebration here. Here on base Halloween was not celebrated on actual Halloween because it fell on a week day this past year so the trick-or-treating took place the Saturday before. Military ID holders could sponsor their Japanese friends to come on base so they could experience Halloween, the American way. Their costumes were fun and simple almost always a simple witch hat or cat ears, or princess tiara for the girls and for the boys it was usually just a witch hat or simply the pumpkin shaped candy bucket that  they would carry. There were a few ninja outfits. In the days leading up to Halloween outside the gates the people of the city started dressing up for Halloween. Similarly to the way people in the states start wearing Christmas sweaters in December. The malls were all decorated for Halloween. I still don't understand it much but in my head I was thinking "for a country that mostly follows the Buddhist and Shinto religions why are they so fascinated with Halloween? And how exactly do they celebrate Halloween?" We haven't made any Japanese friends yet so I haven't had the opportunity to really ask these questions but my assumption is that they celebrate it similarly to the way Americans do and their fascination with it is due to their fascination with all things American. Anyway my husband and I were a little bit shocked when we learned that the trick-or-treating would be done on the Saturday before Halloween and not on the actual day. But I think it worked ok.

Next Veteran's Day. The Japanese don't celebrate it. And why would they? I'm sure they have a day where they honor their fallen soldiers but its not November 11th. And quite frankly that's ok with me. Having a day during the week that my husband has off that the Japanese don't allows us to go out in town and explore the area without having to deal with mass crowds of Japanese people because they are all at work! We had planned on going to Tokyo Disney with my husband's Sponsor and his family but it didn't work out due to weather and sadly Olivia had a cold so it was best we just stuck close to home.

Now on to the big ones: Thanksgiving and then Christmas! So Thanksgiving is not celebrated by the Japanese either. Although they seem to like putting up turkey decorations in November lollol. I made a special blend of spices, herbs and seasonings with some secret ingredients and then mixed it with some softened butter and rubbed that butter under the skin and over the skin and I injected those flavors right into the meat of the turkey. When my turkey was done I was worried it was going to be not as successful as I had hoped but that was the main event of the day so I had faith it was going to be ok. Imagine my surprise and great joy when I hear the guys say that turkey yesterday was good but this turkey tonight has some great flavor! No one really said it was better than the deep fried turkey but saying it had some great flavor and was just as good was enough for me! It was moist and delicious and they liked it enough to ask me to cook the turkey if we got together for Christmas. And my husband liked it so much that he asked me to cook another turkey dinner just a week later lol. Now I just want to add that the wife that I decided I didn't want to be friends with (read my previous blog) was there with her husband and their son and they broke home training rule #1. They ate and ran. Now I have no intention of really being her friend nor do I really care that much that they didn't stick around and maybe it was for the best that they didn't stick around but they really did come for the food and leave. They showed up late ate and left. There was very little fellowship with them and quite honestly it didn't seem like they really wanted to be there...and so they left. No big deal but I just thought I would mention it. It will make more sense when I talk about Christmas.

Christmas. The Japanese seem to celebrate Christmas. They decorate with lights and have Christmas trees and sell decorations that say Happy Merry Christmas lol. They probably celebrate Christmas the way many Americans celebrate the holiday, without any religion at all. Its a tradition or custom not a religious holiday to them. Maybe a day to give gifts to each other without any understanding or maybe just no recognition of the origin of the holiday. Regardless it is celebrated here and its fun to experience the Japanese version of the holidays we cherish most as Americans.
As for us, my husband and I hosted a Christmas Eve dinner at our house with a potluck dinner cooked by me and my closest friend here. The wife I decided I didn't want to be friends with was invited because our husbands work together and it would have just been wrong to not invite them. She even offered to cook some food, and we said she was more than welcome to cook what she wanted. Thankfully, we had all our bases covered because she called me a half hour after we had said we were going to eat and asked me how many people were going to be there tomorrow for dinner. I had to explain to her that it was not tomorrow but tonight and we already started eating. She was more than welcome to come but we had already started dinner. (I don't like to let food get cold so when we set a time that's what time we eat!) Anyhow the wife came. She left her son at home with her husband. She ate and hung out. Then she went to get her son and that's when all hell broke loose. The men retreated to the kitchen to play spades as usual and the women and children stayed in the living room. I put on dance dance revolution on the Wii and we all started playing and having a good time. That is until that wife started playing and stopped paying attention to her son. He started playing with the ornaments on the tree and taking them off. Since his mother is in the room I try to refrain from parenting him and I just don't like to have to correct other people's children ever (unless that's what you are paying me to do). It was loud because of the men getting loud in the kitchen and the video game going on. So I tell the little boy, "not for [insert his name]" over and over again. I do increasingly get louder because I am hoping that it will get his attention and distract him from distorting my tree on Christmas Eve or that it will get his mothers attention and she will stop him. Unfortunately I did not get the response I was expecting. Instead what I hear is "Faryn, don't yell at him!" Then she got up and supervised as he played with the ornaments and then did not place them back on the tree where they came from. I was frustrated and irritated and went to the kitchen for a break from the irritation. When I returned to the living room the boy was trying to break the door off my entertainment center. I repeated my little phrase "Not for [insert his name]" (I tell Olivia "Not for Olivia" when she is grabbing things I don't want her to have so that's why I was saying it to the little boy). His mother starts yelling and cussing at him but is in the middle of a game so she doesn't want to do what I think she should do and that's remove him from the situation and tell him no. Finally when I see the hinges on the door starting to bend, she starts to yell louder and I say, "that's not working, he's going to break the door!" and finally she stops what she is doing and moves him. But turns to give me a dirty look. I then went to the kitchen to clean up and I was pissed. The other wives watching are all shocked at what they have just witnessed. And its written on all of our faces that we are all disappointed in what just happened. After she left I was relieved (her husband never came) that she was gone and in my head I was thinking "she is no longer welcome in my home, and neither is her little brat!" but in all reality its not the kid's fault its his parents. But how do I tell my husband "your co-worker/friend and his wife are not welcome in my home. You didn't witness it but her actions pushed me to the edge and had it been anyone else's kid I probably would have spanked him on the spot, when he didn't listen! And then I would have cussed her out for yelling at me and giving me such a dirty look but I didn't and I don't ever want that to happen in my house again!" So I don't tell my husband I don't ever want them in my house again. Instead I just told him what happened and emphasize that I'm not really her friend like that.
Christmas day was wonderful. My husband spoils me rotten and he heard my wishes and went out and got me the mac book I really wanted. Now I must be the best student and the best attorney ever now that I have the most expensive computer love can buy lol. I try to spoil him but what do you buy for a man who has everything he wants and needs?

New Years Eve. Clearly this is a world wide celebration. And honestly I have no idea how the Japanese ring in the new year but I heard they do it big in Tokyo. We brought in the new year at a friends house with several of the other couples we like to hang out with. We had a potluck BBQ and watched stand up comedy. Then the men played spades as usual and us women just hung out and watched TV and talked. That one particular wife never showed up although she and her husband were invited by the hosts as a courtesy and her husband came briefly but left after he ate.
Olivia took a brief nap and was awake when the clock struck midnight. And my husband was right there to give me a new years kiss to bless our marriage with lots of love and success in the new year.

I think it goes without saying that the holidays are always hard when you spend them away from your family. For me it was really tough. This was the first time ever in my life that I had not spent Christmas with my parents and siblings. And to add insult to injury they are an entire day behind so we couldn't even get on Skype and open presents together. I didn't even get to watch my family open their presents. On my Christmas day I made it all the way to dinner without so much as a tear but then my older sister called and it reminded me of how much I love and miss my crazy family. Plus knowing that Olivia did not get to spend her first Christmas with her grandparents the way I did as a kid was heartbreaking but I guess that's just the downside of having such a tight knit family that, as crazy as they are, I love them and they are pretty much the coolest family on the planet. I think for me the hardest part is knowing that when I finally broke down and cried I knew it hurt my husband, not only because I know he feels bad that I can't be with my family because we are in Japan due to his job but also because I know part of him feels like he and Olivia are my family so I should be happy that the three of us get to spend our Christmas together. I know that there are many Christmas's to come that he won't be around because he will be on a boat somewhere and I cherish the time we get to spend together but that doesn't take away from the homesickness I feel mostly on Christmas because of the great memories and loving family I have.

So there you have it, the holidays in Japan. With all the drama and a little bit about how the Japanese celebrate...more like whether or not they celebrate. And now I am all caught up to the present so stay tuned for more adventures in the life of the Real House Wife of the Navy!