So it's Wednesday here and like every other Wednesday and Thursday morning this semester I got up and took Olivia to daycare while I go home and sit through yet another "virtual" online class. Maybe it's because today would have been my grandmother's 78th birthday (may she Rest In Peace), but it was extremely hard for me to leave Olivia today. She was fussy this morning but when we got to daycare she went willingly with the daycare teacher. (Possibly because I handed the lady a freshly made bottle nice and warm to the perfect temperature for Olivia). Anyhow, this was the first time in a long time that Olivia went without crying...or so I thought. After I walked out of the room I glanced through the window in the wall (where I can spy on her) she started crying. She wanted her mommy and I almost cried walking away!!! I hate leaving her, but I know its for the best and I can't focus through class while trying to entertain her as well. So logically I know this is for the best, but my heart doesn't always agree.
I have struggled with my baby not gaining weight like I though she would, taking a day trip to the ER because of a concussion, issues with breast feeding, making the switch to formula and the feeling of failure that goes with that because I wanted her to be breast fed until she was at least 6 months old, the struggle of teaching her to sleep through the night (which we sometimes still struggle with), and the most occurring struggle is battling the idea of letting her "cry it out." I have heard so many non parents (including my own sister) tell me to "put her down and let her cry, eventually she will stop or cry herself to sleep. You are spoiling her!" This does not resinate well with my gut instinct and in fact it sounds and feels so harsh and cruel. Who would do that to their own baby?
I was the nervous and paranoid first time mommy who researched everything. From the type of diapers to use to bottles to clothes to cribs and other baby gadgets, and yes of course parenting techniques. What I found was that the best parenting technique is to go with your gut instinct. Not any one technique works for all families or even every kid within the same family. I also found that letting your baby "cry it out" breaks the bond and trust with your baby because their cry is a way of telling you something. Maybe they do just want to be held or maybe they are bored, lonely, hungry, need a clean diaper, are tired, or a host of other things. For me I feel incredibly uncomfortable letting my baby cry. To all those who have or are using this technique please don't take this as a judgment of your parental style or skills this is about me and what works at my home. In all reality I would love to just be able to leave Olivia and let her cry it out but it just makes me feel so horrible when I do. I have tried and failed many times at letting her cry it out. Usually I don't even last a whole minute.
So I guess the truth is that the most difficult part about being a mommy is struggling with finding the right parenting technique, along with balancing all the other struggles of parenthood.
Most recently we have started the discussion of when or if to have another one. My husband would like to have a son. I wouldn't mind having another one but as a military wife and a Navy wife in particular the birth of kids must be planned around when daddy will be able to be around to help. Especially with us being overseas it is important that I have some help since we are talking about a potential baby #2. So since my husband is on shore duty now would be the perfect time to have baby #2 otherwise we have to wait till the next shore duty which is about 7 years from now. The other issue that I struggle with is: I love Olivia so much, can I really love another child just as much? Can I be fair and treat them both equally? Can we afford to spoil a second child the same way we have spoiled Olivia so far? How can I divide my time and love for two children? Will Olivia be jealous of a new baby? Will she feel left out? How can I manage another child and still fulfill my career goals when we get back to the states?
Are these normal thoughts and questions? Will Kareem want to try for baby #3 if #2 is another girl? What will happen to Olivia if the pregnancy for baby #2 isn't as easy as my pregnancy with her? I don't want her to feel neglected because Mommy is struggling physically. I think I have just become paranoid. lol. I actually loved being pregnant and part of me genuinely misses it. Although nothing in me misses the recovery from giving birth. (Labor and delivery were short, sweet and painless...that is until it came time to stitch up my 3rd degree tear...dontThats the life of a Navy wife.
Well I am pretty sure thats all I got for today. Stay tuned for the next addition and let me know your thoughts. Especially if you have answers to any or all the questions I pondered today. Thanks to all who read my blog. Much Love.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
A Random Sunday Spent in Tokyo
So today is Sunday but let me start out by saying that this weekend has been anything but uneventful! Yesterday morning I was woken up by 2 moderately strong earthquakes! Although I am not really scared by them it doesn't make for a very good wake up...especially when I am not a morning person at all, and it was my day to sleep in (they hit about 7:45am)!!! Please believe I thought my husband was trying to wake me up early and I was fixing to curse him out when I realized it was an earthquake and not him. LOL.
Then this morning although I did get to sleep in (at least compared to yesterday) I was forced to get up and get Olivia out of her crib, even though my husband was already up and showered and everything! I was hoping he would let me get some extra sleep to make up for the sleep I missed out on yesterday. Boy was I wrong!!! If you know me you know that I don't play when it comes to sleep and when I feel I have been robbed of my sleep I get really irritated! So needless to say I woke up on the proverbial wrong side of the bed.
I was tired and irritated, and most importantly feeling under appreciated for the work I do Monday thru Friday and on some weekend days too. I felt like, "I get up with this baby every day of the week even when I am sick, tired, just went back to bed after a middle of the night feeding, etc. etc. and he can't even appreciate me enough to let me sleep a little bit longer and go get Olivia?!" And yes I was snippy to him when I got up and got her a bottle and changed her diaper and fed her. No worries I soon got over it! Needless to say when I got the chance I got up and took a shower and got ready to go. We decided to just get on the train and go to Tokyo Station and decide where we were going to go from there.
Well we made it to Tokyo station by train for the small cost of 720 yen or about $9.38 per adult. Not bad for a train ride into one of the biggest cities in all of Asia. Plus it took about 2hours to get there. You can't really be mad at that. We learned a few things. Tokyo station is the hub of central Metro Tokyo. Thats where you can catch the bullet train (known as Shinkansen in Japanese) and the bullet train is fairly expensive and when traveling across Japan is about equivalent to a Southwest airline ticket lol. You can also catch the train to Narita airport from there which is nice because Olivia does much better on the train than she does in the car and inevitably no matter how short the car ride is to the airport it is always a several hour ride home so Olivia has only taken that ride once (let me tell you that was the worst car ride with her ever). Also we learned that Tokyo station is not as cool as we thought and next time we are more likely to go to the stop before it and go out and explore Shimbashi instead.
Ok so after we got to the station we were starving since it was well passed lunch time and I hadn't really eaten anything all day and Kareem had a protein shake for breakfast. So first thing first we had to find some food. Just our luck there was a "food court" just off the platform. Sadly enough there were waiting lines for every place and we were starving. We got some "take out" from a place and went downstairs to eat. I got rice with some beef and mushroom sauce. It wasn't bad but it was far from my favorite, but I was so hungry I could have eaten pretty much anything at that point. Kareem had some chicken sandwich that was pretty good. Then we decide we are going to wander through the station and if we find an exit then we will go out and see whats outside but it was so cold outside that we had no intentions of forcing Olivia to endure the cold even though she had on clothes, shoes, a coat and a blanket and the stroller completely covers her. Plus we didn't want to endure the cold either. So we wander and eventually find an exit. We go out and end up at some random mall that we explore. Kareem decides he is starting to get hungry and we start looking for another place to eat but we decided to go home and eat anyway since Kareem had beautifully marinated a tri tip cut at home. After several hours of exploring we go back to the train station and start our trek home. We tried to purchase tickets for the reserved section of the train but since neither of us speak very much Japanese and as expected, the Japanese don't speak much English things weren't working out very well. But we made it back to Yokohama station where we changed trains and headed home on the express train. (We were now very hungry again so we were trying to get home as soon as possible.) just as we were about two stops from ours Kareem started receiving text messages from some of the guys he works with who were talking about the earthquake that just hit. Earthquake? I didn't feel anything. The train didn't stop nothing happened and all the other passengers on the train were completely oblivious to any earthquake.
lol. However, I did find out from a friend of mine from law school who spends a lot of time here in Japan that usually if the earthquake is strong enough the train stops and everyone must get off and walk to the next train station or the conductor may let them stay on the train while the train tracks are inspected to make sure there are not problems in the track. I am so thankful that we didn't have to get off the train because it was so cold outside I don't know that I would have made it (and I had a winter coat on over a sweater). Plus I was taking the train so I didn't have to walk, and we even drove to the military parking lot and walked the two blocks to the train station so we wouldn't have to make the 20 minute walk to the train station from the gate (not to mention the 10 minute walk from our house to the gate). Either way I am just glad we didn't have to get off the train and that the train didn't even stop. It seems like Japan has an "earthquake season," just like Florida has hurricane season lol. And well, now is earthquake season.
After we got home I cut up some sweet peppers, onions and mushrooms and put them on skewers and drizzled some grilling sauce on them and then cut up some veggies for salad. Kareem put the tri tip on the grill and then put on the veggie skewers. His tri tip turned out perfectly. It tasted delicious! He is getting to be quite the grill master! To which I am so thankful. Although I love to cook anytime I don't have to is great! We had a wonderful home made dinner that I look forward to him cooking again!
After dinner I got the pleasure of my husband bathing our lil Olivia and then putting her to bed. This is a rare experience for me but one I enjoy.
So we had a random day in Tokyo but one well worth it and filled with fun and excitement and I look forward to doing it again soon!!!
To all my readers, thanks for your support and to all the new readers thank you for your time. Keep reading and stay tuned for the next post of The Real House Wife of the Navy!
Then this morning although I did get to sleep in (at least compared to yesterday) I was forced to get up and get Olivia out of her crib, even though my husband was already up and showered and everything! I was hoping he would let me get some extra sleep to make up for the sleep I missed out on yesterday. Boy was I wrong!!! If you know me you know that I don't play when it comes to sleep and when I feel I have been robbed of my sleep I get really irritated! So needless to say I woke up on the proverbial wrong side of the bed.
I was tired and irritated, and most importantly feeling under appreciated for the work I do Monday thru Friday and on some weekend days too. I felt like, "I get up with this baby every day of the week even when I am sick, tired, just went back to bed after a middle of the night feeding, etc. etc. and he can't even appreciate me enough to let me sleep a little bit longer and go get Olivia?!" And yes I was snippy to him when I got up and got her a bottle and changed her diaper and fed her. No worries I soon got over it! Needless to say when I got the chance I got up and took a shower and got ready to go. We decided to just get on the train and go to Tokyo Station and decide where we were going to go from there.
Well we made it to Tokyo station by train for the small cost of 720 yen or about $9.38 per adult. Not bad for a train ride into one of the biggest cities in all of Asia. Plus it took about 2hours to get there. You can't really be mad at that. We learned a few things. Tokyo station is the hub of central Metro Tokyo. Thats where you can catch the bullet train (known as Shinkansen in Japanese) and the bullet train is fairly expensive and when traveling across Japan is about equivalent to a Southwest airline ticket lol. You can also catch the train to Narita airport from there which is nice because Olivia does much better on the train than she does in the car and inevitably no matter how short the car ride is to the airport it is always a several hour ride home so Olivia has only taken that ride once (let me tell you that was the worst car ride with her ever). Also we learned that Tokyo station is not as cool as we thought and next time we are more likely to go to the stop before it and go out and explore Shimbashi instead.
Ok so after we got to the station we were starving since it was well passed lunch time and I hadn't really eaten anything all day and Kareem had a protein shake for breakfast. So first thing first we had to find some food. Just our luck there was a "food court" just off the platform. Sadly enough there were waiting lines for every place and we were starving. We got some "take out" from a place and went downstairs to eat. I got rice with some beef and mushroom sauce. It wasn't bad but it was far from my favorite, but I was so hungry I could have eaten pretty much anything at that point. Kareem had some chicken sandwich that was pretty good. Then we decide we are going to wander through the station and if we find an exit then we will go out and see whats outside but it was so cold outside that we had no intentions of forcing Olivia to endure the cold even though she had on clothes, shoes, a coat and a blanket and the stroller completely covers her. Plus we didn't want to endure the cold either. So we wander and eventually find an exit. We go out and end up at some random mall that we explore. Kareem decides he is starting to get hungry and we start looking for another place to eat but we decided to go home and eat anyway since Kareem had beautifully marinated a tri tip cut at home. After several hours of exploring we go back to the train station and start our trek home. We tried to purchase tickets for the reserved section of the train but since neither of us speak very much Japanese and as expected, the Japanese don't speak much English things weren't working out very well. But we made it back to Yokohama station where we changed trains and headed home on the express train. (We were now very hungry again so we were trying to get home as soon as possible.) just as we were about two stops from ours Kareem started receiving text messages from some of the guys he works with who were talking about the earthquake that just hit. Earthquake? I didn't feel anything. The train didn't stop nothing happened and all the other passengers on the train were completely oblivious to any earthquake.
lol. However, I did find out from a friend of mine from law school who spends a lot of time here in Japan that usually if the earthquake is strong enough the train stops and everyone must get off and walk to the next train station or the conductor may let them stay on the train while the train tracks are inspected to make sure there are not problems in the track. I am so thankful that we didn't have to get off the train because it was so cold outside I don't know that I would have made it (and I had a winter coat on over a sweater). Plus I was taking the train so I didn't have to walk, and we even drove to the military parking lot and walked the two blocks to the train station so we wouldn't have to make the 20 minute walk to the train station from the gate (not to mention the 10 minute walk from our house to the gate). Either way I am just glad we didn't have to get off the train and that the train didn't even stop. It seems like Japan has an "earthquake season," just like Florida has hurricane season lol. And well, now is earthquake season.
After we got home I cut up some sweet peppers, onions and mushrooms and put them on skewers and drizzled some grilling sauce on them and then cut up some veggies for salad. Kareem put the tri tip on the grill and then put on the veggie skewers. His tri tip turned out perfectly. It tasted delicious! He is getting to be quite the grill master! To which I am so thankful. Although I love to cook anytime I don't have to is great! We had a wonderful home made dinner that I look forward to him cooking again!
After dinner I got the pleasure of my husband bathing our lil Olivia and then putting her to bed. This is a rare experience for me but one I enjoy.
So we had a random day in Tokyo but one well worth it and filled with fun and excitement and I look forward to doing it again soon!!!
To all my readers, thanks for your support and to all the new readers thank you for your time. Keep reading and stay tuned for the next post of The Real House Wife of the Navy!
Friday, January 20, 2012
The Many Hats I Wear or Should be Wearing lol
So not only am I a wife and a mother but I am also a student, a member of the greatest Sorority ever created Zeta Phi Beta, friend, neighbor, home trained nurse (thanks to webMD and google lol), self trained chef, sister, daughter, calendar keeper, grocery list maker, social planner and most importantly a worry wart, and some would even mention pessimist as well as judge and jury lol. My previous posts discussed my role as wife and mother and friend or at least who I am not a friend to, but I guess I can now explore the other roles I play.
I am finishing up my law school career. Long story short I will have one class left after this semester. Thank God because I have discovered that I have a great disdain for law school and I think the feeling is mutual. It has been a long hard road but one that I wouldn't change for anything in the world. If I hadn't taken a leap of faith and moved to San Diego for law school I would have never met my husband (who is also part of the reason that I almost flunked out after my very first semester of law school lol. That's not really the entire truth. The truth is that I didn't prioritize my time properly and I didn't study hard enough the first semester because I had no idea what I was doing and I ended up on academic probation but ever since then I have excelled beyond even my own expectations.) and I wouldn't have made some of the best friends in my life. Anyhow after having moved to Japan finishing law school has been a very different experience. I have learned that law school professors and technology don't mix well and for some they should never mix at all because it is almost always an epic fail. This semester not only is my class required to meet in a virtual class room but the program for this virtual class room has changed and the professors are so technologically inept that they spend more class time trying to figure out what the hell they are doing than they do teaching. It's so extremely frustrating I spend the rest of the class trying to refocus on the class and less on my frustration. (Which in itself is extremely distracting. I know that sounds contradictory but I also have self diagnosed ADHD but if you knew me you know this is completely accurate.) This semester I am in a class with a group of grandparents, yes actual grandparents. One guy has something like 8 grandkids. So as you can imagine his technological difficulties are often worse than the professors which is even more distracting! These people are extreme over achievers because they are at a special point in their lives. They have nothing else to do with their time than read more books so they are excited about taking more classes. Me on the other hand, I am so over law school I just want to pass and move on. I have no interest in the lives of these other people and could care less if they have any interest in me. So every class I just grin and bear it now. Especially since the other people in the class can actually see me the entire time I really do grin and bear it. (One of these old guys whose name sounds like he is part of the Taliban pointed out on the second day of class that I looked too serious. I wanted to tell him to shove it but I'm sure he meant no harm so I just fixed my face and kept it pushing. Besides, like I said his name sounds like I should keep an eye out for him. LOL And trust me when I say that if he looks at me sideways I am going to submit his name to NCIS lol.) Oh man I just sounded like my dad right then. I guess that means I am getting old and bitter lol. So that is my student hat.
My Zeta hat was recently dusted off and I am excited to say that it still fits! I guess you can never outgrow being a Zeta no matter how much weight you gain or lose. Recently was our Founder's Day celebration. My husband, poor guy, has never had any experience with Black Greek Lettered Organizations and even with me being a Zeta he knew that I am but because I was in law school I didn't have time to be active so he never got to experience it. Now that I am in Japan and need to make some friends I decided to reach out to the chapter here. The Founder's Day celebration was small but exciting nonetheless. I was so happy to be around Blue and White again but my poor husband felt out of place, not to mention that he was actually really sick but stuck it out so he could go with me. He has absolutely no understanding of Greek life and his extremely limited experience makes him feel like, "Greek life is for college, you graduated so why does it matter now?" I tried to explain it to him but it was an epic fail. So for now I just left it at its a great networking tool and a way for me to make friends no matter where he gets stationed. He's ok with the sorority but he struggles with the idea of the constitutional bond to Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity Inc. He doesn't understand the Sigma/Zeta bond and that those men are no threat to him. But regardless I am excited to be back and active again. I have missed being an active Zeta so much and it feels like going home again...well almost.
webMD and google, I can diagnose almost any common ailment. I have learned how to treat the common cold in an infant, fix my husbands many bumps and bruises and most importantly when to call a doctor lol. Recently my poor little angel gave me a good scare. We woke up early, as usual, and like every other morning I got up and cared for her before even trying to go potty myself. After getting Olivia out of her crib and getting her a clean diaper I placed her on the living room floor on her play mat (the mat has a pretty cool little mobile that hangs over it that plays music and has a tent like structure that holds up the mobile.), she was sitting up like she has been doing for months now. She was playing with her toys and as I walked out of the room I yelled to my husband, "I love you! Have a good day, and be safe!" like I do every morning, as he walked out the door to work. Then Olivia started fussing since she couldn't see me. As I was finishing up my business in the bathroom (I was only in there maybe a minute.) I heard a thump then a scream and then it stopped. I was scared! I ran out of the bathroom to check on her and she was laying on the floor playing with a ball and seemed fine. I washed my hands and made her a bottle picked her up off the floor and proceeded to feed her the bottle. She drank less than an ounce and became extremely lethargic. Then she fell asleep. I didn't think much of it since I figured maybe she just wasn't hungry and was just sleepy, it was only 7:30am (that's early for me). As she layer on the couch she woke up when she threw up all over my couch. It was then that my "self taught nursing skills" kicked in. I connected the dots and thought she might have a concussion and called a doctor, who instructed me to bring her in right away. I called my husband so he could come home from work and take us to medical right away. The doctor instructed us that he thought she was fine but that if she threw up again then to bring her back right away because it could be that she had some head trauma. We took her home and just a few minutes before I had to go pick my husband up from work for lunch Olivia threw up again all over me, the couch, the ottoman, and the floor. Luckily this time I didn't have to call my husband away from work. I picked him up and we went straight to medical. In a matter of minutes we were ushered into an ambulance and taken to the big Navy base where the hospital is (about an hour by car) and it was in the ER that we were informed that they sent us there because they thought she might need a CT scan. Fortunately for us, the doctor explained the risks and benefits to us and made a thorough examination of Olivia and suggested we don't get the scan because she didn't believe it to be necessary and the risk of too much radiation a was too great. She had a mild concussion and the doctor suggested we continue to monitor her and gave us a list of symptoms to watch out for and to bring her back immediately if she had any of those symptoms. By the grace of God we didn't have to return to the ER! That is by far the scariest day of my life. No parent should ever have to experience their child being treated in the ER ever. I was blessed that there is nothing wrong with Olivia, and they think she probably just had a stomach bug that coincidentally showed up the same day Olivia took a spill. A week later Olivia is doing great and feeling well. That day I wore my nurse and worry wart hats. Let me tell you I would much rather that I never wear that worry wart hat ever again but I think it hides within my hair simply because I am a mother.
All the other hats I wear are more like pins that go on my wife, mother, and student hat. Sadly if you know me and you know the recent decision I have made you know I should be wearing some form of a hat...literally. As a Black woman I have struggled my entire life with controlling my hair and I have taken some drastic measures to get it under control. I have relaxed it, pressed it, braided it, cut it short, colored it; pretty much everything but simply comb it and love it the way God created it. Until I moved to Japan I had never lived somewhere so hot and humid. And quite frankly heat and humidity doesn't mix well with heat or chemically straightened hair. So after having Olivia I decided I was going to go natural! I was going to take the plunge and grow out my hair and stop chemically relaxing it and just use heat to straighten it. Now my hair has become a heaping mess and it often is wrapped up into a ponytail and should be covered in a hat...literally. Thankfully my husband truly loves me unconditionally because there are days when my hair looks horrible and when I say I have a bad hair day it usually means my hair is not cooperating with me and just looks worse the harder I try to make it look decent. But in the long run I have never seen my hair be so long and strong as I have now. It is thick and yes nappy as all get out, but strong. The new growth has its problems too but does not break off like the chemically damaged hair that is left. In about a month I will be taking the next step and chopping off all the old hair. By then my hair will be long enough to be put into a pony tail and I am getting so excited! I can't wait. In the mean time I need to put on my brave hat and call the lady whose contact info was given to me and get my hair braided!. Until then I am going to find a cute hat to rock! And I have made the decision to teach my beautiful Olivia to love the hair God gave us so that she never has to go through this crazy process of "going natural" and to teach her how to care for her hair so she can always stay natural.
The other hat I should be wearing is that of workout feign. No I am not a feign about working out. In fact I hate it almost as equally as I hate getting shots and giving blood. After having Olivia I weighed less the day I left the hospital than I did before I got pregnant. And at my 6 week check up I was 20 lbs less than when I got pregnant. Sadly enough when I arrived in Japan I started packing on the pounds. After being here only 2 months I had gained nearly 30lbs. When I had to order new pants in a larger size it was then that I made a conscious decision to live a healthier life style. Making the decision was easy. Actually doing it has been the most difficult thing in my life. I love food. I love to cook. For me the only art like expression of my creativity is cooking. (If you ask my older sister she will tell you I came out of the womb bossing people around and I lack any and all forms of creativity). I am not a picky eater and I have used food to comfort me nearly my entire life. What makes it even more difficult is that I AM LAZY! Yup I said it. I admit it! I am lazy! Although recently I discovered that I don't really mind working out. In fact once I get my lazy ass up I have no problem working out. But I always seem to have an excuse. I don't have the time because I don't have anyone to watch Olivia or when I am at home it seems like I can easily use Olivia as an excuse to sit on my ass and do nothing but hold her and play with her. But as of a week ago I made the conscious decision to do more than decide to lose weight and get healthy. I decided to actually do something. I bought some fitness games for the our Wii which I have been actually playing...diligently, and I am watching what I eat and I try to not put bad stuff in my mouth lol (which is proving to be more difficult than originally planned! Bread is loaded with calories and I love it so much!). I purchased some protein powder to make protein shakes as a substitute for breakfast (which is actually working! the flavor I bought is carmel chocolate and it tastes really good because it actually tastes like cake batter not carmel chocolate lol.) I have gone against my own personal belief against diet pills and purchased some too. It may not be the healthiest decision I have ever made but I need all the help I can get and if the diet pills are going to get me to the goal line then so be it! (so far the best part about them is they are so packed full of energy boosters I don't feel so tired all the time.) Anyhow the gist of this is that I am genuinely trying to be better, look better, feel better, do better and be a healthier happier me. I guess this is a process in learning to love myself. So here's to a better me! Cheers.
Shout out to all the people who have taken the time to read my blog. I hope you enjoy my crazy stories, and continue to follow me through my journey as a Navy wife. Until next time....
I am finishing up my law school career. Long story short I will have one class left after this semester. Thank God because I have discovered that I have a great disdain for law school and I think the feeling is mutual. It has been a long hard road but one that I wouldn't change for anything in the world. If I hadn't taken a leap of faith and moved to San Diego for law school I would have never met my husband (who is also part of the reason that I almost flunked out after my very first semester of law school lol. That's not really the entire truth. The truth is that I didn't prioritize my time properly and I didn't study hard enough the first semester because I had no idea what I was doing and I ended up on academic probation but ever since then I have excelled beyond even my own expectations.) and I wouldn't have made some of the best friends in my life. Anyhow after having moved to Japan finishing law school has been a very different experience. I have learned that law school professors and technology don't mix well and for some they should never mix at all because it is almost always an epic fail. This semester not only is my class required to meet in a virtual class room but the program for this virtual class room has changed and the professors are so technologically inept that they spend more class time trying to figure out what the hell they are doing than they do teaching. It's so extremely frustrating I spend the rest of the class trying to refocus on the class and less on my frustration. (Which in itself is extremely distracting. I know that sounds contradictory but I also have self diagnosed ADHD but if you knew me you know this is completely accurate.) This semester I am in a class with a group of grandparents, yes actual grandparents. One guy has something like 8 grandkids. So as you can imagine his technological difficulties are often worse than the professors which is even more distracting! These people are extreme over achievers because they are at a special point in their lives. They have nothing else to do with their time than read more books so they are excited about taking more classes. Me on the other hand, I am so over law school I just want to pass and move on. I have no interest in the lives of these other people and could care less if they have any interest in me. So every class I just grin and bear it now. Especially since the other people in the class can actually see me the entire time I really do grin and bear it. (One of these old guys whose name sounds like he is part of the Taliban pointed out on the second day of class that I looked too serious. I wanted to tell him to shove it but I'm sure he meant no harm so I just fixed my face and kept it pushing. Besides, like I said his name sounds like I should keep an eye out for him. LOL And trust me when I say that if he looks at me sideways I am going to submit his name to NCIS lol.) Oh man I just sounded like my dad right then. I guess that means I am getting old and bitter lol. So that is my student hat.
My Zeta hat was recently dusted off and I am excited to say that it still fits! I guess you can never outgrow being a Zeta no matter how much weight you gain or lose. Recently was our Founder's Day celebration. My husband, poor guy, has never had any experience with Black Greek Lettered Organizations and even with me being a Zeta he knew that I am but because I was in law school I didn't have time to be active so he never got to experience it. Now that I am in Japan and need to make some friends I decided to reach out to the chapter here. The Founder's Day celebration was small but exciting nonetheless. I was so happy to be around Blue and White again but my poor husband felt out of place, not to mention that he was actually really sick but stuck it out so he could go with me. He has absolutely no understanding of Greek life and his extremely limited experience makes him feel like, "Greek life is for college, you graduated so why does it matter now?" I tried to explain it to him but it was an epic fail. So for now I just left it at its a great networking tool and a way for me to make friends no matter where he gets stationed. He's ok with the sorority but he struggles with the idea of the constitutional bond to Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity Inc. He doesn't understand the Sigma/Zeta bond and that those men are no threat to him. But regardless I am excited to be back and active again. I have missed being an active Zeta so much and it feels like going home again...well almost.
webMD and google, I can diagnose almost any common ailment. I have learned how to treat the common cold in an infant, fix my husbands many bumps and bruises and most importantly when to call a doctor lol. Recently my poor little angel gave me a good scare. We woke up early, as usual, and like every other morning I got up and cared for her before even trying to go potty myself. After getting Olivia out of her crib and getting her a clean diaper I placed her on the living room floor on her play mat (the mat has a pretty cool little mobile that hangs over it that plays music and has a tent like structure that holds up the mobile.), she was sitting up like she has been doing for months now. She was playing with her toys and as I walked out of the room I yelled to my husband, "I love you! Have a good day, and be safe!" like I do every morning, as he walked out the door to work. Then Olivia started fussing since she couldn't see me. As I was finishing up my business in the bathroom (I was only in there maybe a minute.) I heard a thump then a scream and then it stopped. I was scared! I ran out of the bathroom to check on her and she was laying on the floor playing with a ball and seemed fine. I washed my hands and made her a bottle picked her up off the floor and proceeded to feed her the bottle. She drank less than an ounce and became extremely lethargic. Then she fell asleep. I didn't think much of it since I figured maybe she just wasn't hungry and was just sleepy, it was only 7:30am (that's early for me). As she layer on the couch she woke up when she threw up all over my couch. It was then that my "self taught nursing skills" kicked in. I connected the dots and thought she might have a concussion and called a doctor, who instructed me to bring her in right away. I called my husband so he could come home from work and take us to medical right away. The doctor instructed us that he thought she was fine but that if she threw up again then to bring her back right away because it could be that she had some head trauma. We took her home and just a few minutes before I had to go pick my husband up from work for lunch Olivia threw up again all over me, the couch, the ottoman, and the floor. Luckily this time I didn't have to call my husband away from work. I picked him up and we went straight to medical. In a matter of minutes we were ushered into an ambulance and taken to the big Navy base where the hospital is (about an hour by car) and it was in the ER that we were informed that they sent us there because they thought she might need a CT scan. Fortunately for us, the doctor explained the risks and benefits to us and made a thorough examination of Olivia and suggested we don't get the scan because she didn't believe it to be necessary and the risk of too much radiation a was too great. She had a mild concussion and the doctor suggested we continue to monitor her and gave us a list of symptoms to watch out for and to bring her back immediately if she had any of those symptoms. By the grace of God we didn't have to return to the ER! That is by far the scariest day of my life. No parent should ever have to experience their child being treated in the ER ever. I was blessed that there is nothing wrong with Olivia, and they think she probably just had a stomach bug that coincidentally showed up the same day Olivia took a spill. A week later Olivia is doing great and feeling well. That day I wore my nurse and worry wart hats. Let me tell you I would much rather that I never wear that worry wart hat ever again but I think it hides within my hair simply because I am a mother.
All the other hats I wear are more like pins that go on my wife, mother, and student hat. Sadly if you know me and you know the recent decision I have made you know I should be wearing some form of a hat...literally. As a Black woman I have struggled my entire life with controlling my hair and I have taken some drastic measures to get it under control. I have relaxed it, pressed it, braided it, cut it short, colored it; pretty much everything but simply comb it and love it the way God created it. Until I moved to Japan I had never lived somewhere so hot and humid. And quite frankly heat and humidity doesn't mix well with heat or chemically straightened hair. So after having Olivia I decided I was going to go natural! I was going to take the plunge and grow out my hair and stop chemically relaxing it and just use heat to straighten it. Now my hair has become a heaping mess and it often is wrapped up into a ponytail and should be covered in a hat...literally. Thankfully my husband truly loves me unconditionally because there are days when my hair looks horrible and when I say I have a bad hair day it usually means my hair is not cooperating with me and just looks worse the harder I try to make it look decent. But in the long run I have never seen my hair be so long and strong as I have now. It is thick and yes nappy as all get out, but strong. The new growth has its problems too but does not break off like the chemically damaged hair that is left. In about a month I will be taking the next step and chopping off all the old hair. By then my hair will be long enough to be put into a pony tail and I am getting so excited! I can't wait. In the mean time I need to put on my brave hat and call the lady whose contact info was given to me and get my hair braided!. Until then I am going to find a cute hat to rock! And I have made the decision to teach my beautiful Olivia to love the hair God gave us so that she never has to go through this crazy process of "going natural" and to teach her how to care for her hair so she can always stay natural.
The other hat I should be wearing is that of workout feign. No I am not a feign about working out. In fact I hate it almost as equally as I hate getting shots and giving blood. After having Olivia I weighed less the day I left the hospital than I did before I got pregnant. And at my 6 week check up I was 20 lbs less than when I got pregnant. Sadly enough when I arrived in Japan I started packing on the pounds. After being here only 2 months I had gained nearly 30lbs. When I had to order new pants in a larger size it was then that I made a conscious decision to live a healthier life style. Making the decision was easy. Actually doing it has been the most difficult thing in my life. I love food. I love to cook. For me the only art like expression of my creativity is cooking. (If you ask my older sister she will tell you I came out of the womb bossing people around and I lack any and all forms of creativity). I am not a picky eater and I have used food to comfort me nearly my entire life. What makes it even more difficult is that I AM LAZY! Yup I said it. I admit it! I am lazy! Although recently I discovered that I don't really mind working out. In fact once I get my lazy ass up I have no problem working out. But I always seem to have an excuse. I don't have the time because I don't have anyone to watch Olivia or when I am at home it seems like I can easily use Olivia as an excuse to sit on my ass and do nothing but hold her and play with her. But as of a week ago I made the conscious decision to do more than decide to lose weight and get healthy. I decided to actually do something. I bought some fitness games for the our Wii which I have been actually playing...diligently, and I am watching what I eat and I try to not put bad stuff in my mouth lol (which is proving to be more difficult than originally planned! Bread is loaded with calories and I love it so much!). I purchased some protein powder to make protein shakes as a substitute for breakfast (which is actually working! the flavor I bought is carmel chocolate and it tastes really good because it actually tastes like cake batter not carmel chocolate lol.) I have gone against my own personal belief against diet pills and purchased some too. It may not be the healthiest decision I have ever made but I need all the help I can get and if the diet pills are going to get me to the goal line then so be it! (so far the best part about them is they are so packed full of energy boosters I don't feel so tired all the time.) Anyhow the gist of this is that I am genuinely trying to be better, look better, feel better, do better and be a healthier happier me. I guess this is a process in learning to love myself. So here's to a better me! Cheers.
Shout out to all the people who have taken the time to read my blog. I hope you enjoy my crazy stories, and continue to follow me through my journey as a Navy wife. Until next time....
Monday, January 9, 2012
Our Trip to the IKEA Store and the rest of the day.
So yesterday my husband had the day off. We had originally planned to go to the local Toys R Us to look for some baby shoes of our daughter but my loving mother spoiled that when she purchased several cute pairs of shoes for her from ebay. Instead we (mostly me but he agreed) decided we would go to IKEA and see if they had some curtains for our bedroom and possibly a toy box for our spoiled daughter and maybe some other things we might need for our house. So we stopped by our local Fleet and Family Support Center and picked up the directions as we headed off base.
It didn't take much time and before we knew it we were there. Driving around this crazy parking structure trying to find a spot as close to the elevator as humanly possible. We notice a lot of cars and people for a Monday but we proceed anyway...only to our demise! We got on the elevator and when we reached the showroom floor there were hordes of people everywhere! It was packed! My very first thought was, "Oh hell what did I get us into this time?!" followed immediately by, "Don't these people work?!" As we walked through the crowds using our sleeping baby in her stroller (which looks huge as if it is carrying around a baby Godzilla because it is so much bigger than the Japanese strollers) my husband and I laughed as we tried to figure out how it is that it seems like the Japanese never work but always have money and can always afford all this expensive stuff. (If you haven't read my previous blogs or forgot, everything here is extremely expensive. Especially the stuff that is American or we could buy in America. The IKEA stuff was expensive too.) Then it occurred to me, "I wonder if today is a Japanese holiday." Neither my husband nor I could think of any Japanese holidays that might occur on January 9th but we were sure it had to be one because there was just way too many people out for it not to be. So after we are in the middle of this extremely crowded store we decide to give up on looking for anything in this store and just make our way to the exit. This took us about 45 minutes to do but we eventually made it out of there. When we left I smacked my husband on the arm and said, "If you knew IKEA was like that why didn't you just tell me? We could have gone somewhere else!" He replied, "Well I thought you should experience it for yourself." Lesson learned for the day: Never ever go back to IKEA!
And yes! yesterday was a Japanese Holiday! It was 'Coming of Age Day' the celebration of everyone who is turning 20 this year. 20 is the age of majority here. Turning 20 allows one to vote, drink alcohol, and smoke cigarettes. This is apparently the way that the Japanese celebrate everyone's 20th birthday no matter what day of the year it is. I think its pretty cool but it sucked that we tried to venture off base and do something only to be accompanied by every other person in Japan. LOL.
On our way home we decided to stop at the local Japanese grocery store for some pre made food for lunch. On our way to the grocery store we passed a building that I thought might be a hospital. Outside of this building was a larger silver van from which two men, in outfits that look like they might be paramedics, were unloading a gurney with what looked like a dead body on it. Ok maybe not a dead body but it looked like a body covered completely by a light blue or white sheet. Just a half block down the street we passed the hospital so maybe that place was the morgue. I'm not really sure but all I could think was, "don't they have aback door they could go through? I don't want to see that."My husband contends that we didn't see what we thought we saw and he could be right but until proven otherwise thats my story and I am sticking with it. Then just before we got to the grocery store we witnessed a Toyota Prius (they are extremely popular here so we see them all the time) making a right turn (equivalent to a left turn in the states because they drive on the opposite side of the road here) into a parking garage. The crazy part was that the car drove over cement median to do it. Neither me nor my husband had ever seen a car do it before. I mean we have seen big trucks do it sometimes to get around to where they are going or to back into a place so they can unload the bed of the truck but never a small commuter car. We were both stunned and in awe of what we had just witnessed. This was definitely a shock and awe car ride lol.
The food we got from the grocery store was as good as expected. We got some gyozo, (which is like a large pot sticker, but better and we love them) and these rolls that are like a cross between spring rolls and lumpia. They are a small roll of deep fried deliciousness. My adventurous side forced me to get these other little brown things to try, not knowing what they were. But I got them intending to try something new. I thought they were going to be meat filled little pouches hopefully they would be good. To my surprise they were just pouches of rice and sesame seeds wrapped in some sort of brown, thin sponge like wrapping that was sweet. But they were very good and even Olivia liked them. So we were pleasantly surprised.
After our late lunch my husband decided that a Monday night is the perfect night to introduce me to Chu-hi a Japanese alcoholic beverage. Since I have been in Japan I have heard lots of talk about this drink but had not had one myself so on Saturday I had purchased one for each of us from the Japanese grocery store so I could try it. Then my husband bought two more different flavors when we picked up our lunch. So now there are 4 of these drinks in our fridge. Now I have had my experience with alcohol in my day so I was sure that two of these canned drinks were not going to have any effect on me. Boy was I wrong! I drank the first one which was only about 6% alcohol, but it was a large can. After I finished it I was already feeling sleepy and had a slight buzz. Then my husband brings me a glass with the peach flavored drink in it. It tastes delicious. I drank it a little too quickly and then we shared a third one and before you know it I had a full on buzz. So Im sure you are wondering what these Chu-His are. Well ImLOL and thankfully Olivia slept through the night as well.
My husband, who has been making a huge effort to learn to cook so I don't have to so often, also made some delicious BBQ ribs for dinner. I assembled the salad and made the baked beans (ok they are semi homemade, they were the canned Busch's baked beans doctored up with my own blend of added sauces and seasonings). Long story short dinner was delicious and a great ending to the day.
Stay tuned for the next addition to the Real House Wife of the Navy.
It didn't take much time and before we knew it we were there. Driving around this crazy parking structure trying to find a spot as close to the elevator as humanly possible. We notice a lot of cars and people for a Monday but we proceed anyway...only to our demise! We got on the elevator and when we reached the showroom floor there were hordes of people everywhere! It was packed! My very first thought was, "Oh hell what did I get us into this time?!" followed immediately by, "Don't these people work?!" As we walked through the crowds using our sleeping baby in her stroller (which looks huge as if it is carrying around a baby Godzilla because it is so much bigger than the Japanese strollers) my husband and I laughed as we tried to figure out how it is that it seems like the Japanese never work but always have money and can always afford all this expensive stuff. (If you haven't read my previous blogs or forgot, everything here is extremely expensive. Especially the stuff that is American or we could buy in America. The IKEA stuff was expensive too.) Then it occurred to me, "I wonder if today is a Japanese holiday." Neither my husband nor I could think of any Japanese holidays that might occur on January 9th but we were sure it had to be one because there was just way too many people out for it not to be. So after we are in the middle of this extremely crowded store we decide to give up on looking for anything in this store and just make our way to the exit. This took us about 45 minutes to do but we eventually made it out of there. When we left I smacked my husband on the arm and said, "If you knew IKEA was like that why didn't you just tell me? We could have gone somewhere else!" He replied, "Well I thought you should experience it for yourself." Lesson learned for the day: Never ever go back to IKEA!
And yes! yesterday was a Japanese Holiday! It was 'Coming of Age Day' the celebration of everyone who is turning 20 this year. 20 is the age of majority here. Turning 20 allows one to vote, drink alcohol, and smoke cigarettes. This is apparently the way that the Japanese celebrate everyone's 20th birthday no matter what day of the year it is. I think its pretty cool but it sucked that we tried to venture off base and do something only to be accompanied by every other person in Japan. LOL.
On our way home we decided to stop at the local Japanese grocery store for some pre made food for lunch. On our way to the grocery store we passed a building that I thought might be a hospital. Outside of this building was a larger silver van from which two men, in outfits that look like they might be paramedics, were unloading a gurney with what looked like a dead body on it. Ok maybe not a dead body but it looked like a body covered completely by a light blue or white sheet. Just a half block down the street we passed the hospital so maybe that place was the morgue. I'm not really sure but all I could think was, "don't they have aback door they could go through? I don't want to see that."My husband contends that we didn't see what we thought we saw and he could be right but until proven otherwise thats my story and I am sticking with it. Then just before we got to the grocery store we witnessed a Toyota Prius (they are extremely popular here so we see them all the time) making a right turn (equivalent to a left turn in the states because they drive on the opposite side of the road here) into a parking garage. The crazy part was that the car drove over cement median to do it. Neither me nor my husband had ever seen a car do it before. I mean we have seen big trucks do it sometimes to get around to where they are going or to back into a place so they can unload the bed of the truck but never a small commuter car. We were both stunned and in awe of what we had just witnessed. This was definitely a shock and awe car ride lol.
The food we got from the grocery store was as good as expected. We got some gyozo, (which is like a large pot sticker, but better and we love them) and these rolls that are like a cross between spring rolls and lumpia. They are a small roll of deep fried deliciousness. My adventurous side forced me to get these other little brown things to try, not knowing what they were. But I got them intending to try something new. I thought they were going to be meat filled little pouches hopefully they would be good. To my surprise they were just pouches of rice and sesame seeds wrapped in some sort of brown, thin sponge like wrapping that was sweet. But they were very good and even Olivia liked them. So we were pleasantly surprised.
After our late lunch my husband decided that a Monday night is the perfect night to introduce me to Chu-hi a Japanese alcoholic beverage. Since I have been in Japan I have heard lots of talk about this drink but had not had one myself so on Saturday I had purchased one for each of us from the Japanese grocery store so I could try it. Then my husband bought two more different flavors when we picked up our lunch. So now there are 4 of these drinks in our fridge. Now I have had my experience with alcohol in my day so I was sure that two of these canned drinks were not going to have any effect on me. Boy was I wrong! I drank the first one which was only about 6% alcohol, but it was a large can. After I finished it I was already feeling sleepy and had a slight buzz. Then my husband brings me a glass with the peach flavored drink in it. It tastes delicious. I drank it a little too quickly and then we shared a third one and before you know it I had a full on buzz. So Im sure you are wondering what these Chu-His are. Well ImLOL and thankfully Olivia slept through the night as well.
My husband, who has been making a huge effort to learn to cook so I don't have to so often, also made some delicious BBQ ribs for dinner. I assembled the salad and made the baked beans (ok they are semi homemade, they were the canned Busch's baked beans doctored up with my own blend of added sauces and seasonings). Long story short dinner was delicious and a great ending to the day.
Stay tuned for the next addition to the Real House Wife of the Navy.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Holidays in Japan
Ok so first I have to apologize for the extreme typos in the last post. I have a 7 month old who has found a love and fascination with my computer and she wanted to make her "editions" to the blog lol. But I hope you got the gist of the story I was telling.
Moving on. When I came here I knew almost nothing about Japanese culture and with my very ethnocentric view point (I'm ashamed to admit it but I was so naive but I am learning everyday and loving it.) I just assumed the Japanese celebrated the same holidays as us "stupid Americans" lol. Oh how I was wrong...but still very right. So just a little back ground. Only 4% of Japanese are Christian. The other 96% are Buddhist, or Shinto or a combination of the two. In fact the majority practice both not just one or the other, and even some of the Christians follow Buddhism and Shinto as well. So after learning this, to which I was try shocked, (but if you learn even a tiny bit of Japanese history you will learn that Japan remained very isolated especially from Europe until the 19th Century and then there was only limited interaction).
Anyhow first came Halloween. Since I had just learned that the majority of the Japanese people were not Catholic or Christian I figured that they would not celebrate Halloween. (All though it originated as a Pagan holiday it transformed into a Catholic/Christian holiday when Christianity migrated to the Celtic lands during the 800s A.D.) But to my surprise Halloween is a huge holiday here in Japan. I have yet to understand the Japanese celebration of Halloween but I have come to the conclusion that their fascination with Americans has made Halloween a celebration here. Here on base Halloween was not celebrated on actual Halloween because it fell on a week day this past year so the trick-or-treating took place the Saturday before. Military ID holders could sponsor their Japanese friends to come on base so they could experience Halloween, the American way. Their costumes were fun and simple almost always a simple witch hat or cat ears, or princess tiara for the girls and for the boys it was usually just a witch hat or simply the pumpkin shaped candy bucket that they would carry. There were a few ninja outfits. In the days leading up to Halloween outside the gates the people of the city started dressing up for Halloween. Similarly to the way people in the states start wearing Christmas sweaters in December. The malls were all decorated for Halloween. I still don't understand it much but in my head I was thinking "for a country that mostly follows the Buddhist and Shinto religions why are they so fascinated with Halloween? And how exactly do they celebrate Halloween?" We haven't made any Japanese friends yet so I haven't had the opportunity to really ask these questions but my assumption is that they celebrate it similarly to the way Americans do and their fascination with it is due to their fascination with all things American. Anyway my husband and I were a little bit shocked when we learned that the trick-or-treating would be done on the Saturday before Halloween and not on the actual day. But I think it worked ok.
Next Veteran's Day. The Japanese don't celebrate it. And why would they? I'm sure they have a day where they honor their fallen soldiers but its not November 11th. And quite frankly that's ok with me. Having a day during the week that my husband has off that the Japanese don't allows us to go out in town and explore the area without having to deal with mass crowds of Japanese people because they are all at work! We had planned on going to Tokyo Disney with my husband's Sponsor and his family but it didn't work out due to weather and sadly Olivia had a cold so it was best we just stuck close to home.
Now on to the big ones: Thanksgiving and then Christmas! So Thanksgiving is not celebrated by the Japanese either. Although they seem to like putting up turkey decorations in November lollol. I made a special blend of spices, herbs and seasonings with some secret ingredients and then mixed it with some softened butter and rubbed that butter under the skin and over the skin and I injected those flavors right into the meat of the turkey. When my turkey was done I was worried it was going to be not as successful as I had hoped but that was the main event of the day so I had faith it was going to be ok. Imagine my surprise and great joy when I hear the guys say that turkey yesterday was good but this turkey tonight has some great flavor! No one really said it was better than the deep fried turkey but saying it had some great flavor and was just as good was enough for me! It was moist and delicious and they liked it enough to ask me to cook the turkey if we got together for Christmas. And my husband liked it so much that he asked me to cook another turkey dinner just a week later lol. Now I just want to add that the wife that I decided I didn't want to be friends with (read my previous blog) was there with her husband and their son and they broke home training rule #1. They ate and ran. Now I have no intention of really being her friend nor do I really care that much that they didn't stick around and maybe it was for the best that they didn't stick around but they really did come for the food and leave. They showed up late ate and left. There was very little fellowship with them and quite honestly it didn't seem like they really wanted to be there...and so they left. No big deal but I just thought I would mention it. It will make more sense when I talk about Christmas.
Christmas. The Japanese seem to celebrate Christmas. They decorate with lights and have Christmas trees and sell decorations that say Happy Merry Christmas lol. They probably celebrate Christmas the way many Americans celebrate the holiday, without any religion at all. Its a tradition or custom not a religious holiday to them. Maybe a day to give gifts to each other without any understanding or maybe just no recognition of the origin of the holiday. Regardless it is celebrated here and its fun to experience the Japanese version of the holidays we cherish most as Americans.
As for us, my husband and I hosted a Christmas Eve dinner at our house with a potluck dinner cooked by me and my closest friend here. The wife I decided I didn't want to be friends with was invited because our husbands work together and it would have just been wrong to not invite them. She even offered to cook some food, and we said she was more than welcome to cook what she wanted. Thankfully, we had all our bases covered because she called me a half hour after we had said we were going to eat and asked me how many people were going to be there tomorrow for dinner. I had to explain to her that it was not tomorrow but tonight and we already started eating. She was more than welcome to come but we had already started dinner. (I don't like to let food get cold so when we set a time that's what time we eat!) Anyhow the wife came. She left her son at home with her husband. She ate and hung out. Then she went to get her son and that's when all hell broke loose. The men retreated to the kitchen to play spades as usual and the women and children stayed in the living room. I put on dance dance revolution on the Wii and we all started playing and having a good time. That is until that wife started playing and stopped paying attention to her son. He started playing with the ornaments on the tree and taking them off. Since his mother is in the room I try to refrain from parenting him and I just don't like to have to correct other people's children ever (unless that's what you are paying me to do). It was loud because of the men getting loud in the kitchen and the video game going on. So I tell the little boy, "not for [insert his name]" over and over again. I do increasingly get louder because I am hoping that it will get his attention and distract him from distorting my tree on Christmas Eve or that it will get his mothers attention and she will stop him. Unfortunately I did not get the response I was expecting. Instead what I hear is "Faryn, don't yell at him!" Then she got up and supervised as he played with the ornaments and then did not place them back on the tree where they came from. I was frustrated and irritated and went to the kitchen for a break from the irritation. When I returned to the living room the boy was trying to break the door off my entertainment center. I repeated my little phrase "Not for [insert his name]" (I tell Olivia "Not for Olivia" when she is grabbing things I don't want her to have so that's why I was saying it to the little boy). His mother starts yelling and cussing at him but is in the middle of a game so she doesn't want to do what I think she should do and that's remove him from the situation and tell him no. Finally when I see the hinges on the door starting to bend, she starts to yell louder and I say, "that's not working, he's going to break the door!" and finally she stops what she is doing and moves him. But turns to give me a dirty look. I then went to the kitchen to clean up and I was pissed. The other wives watching are all shocked at what they have just witnessed. And its written on all of our faces that we are all disappointed in what just happened. After she left I was relieved (her husband never came) that she was gone and in my head I was thinking "she is no longer welcome in my home, and neither is her little brat!" but in all reality its not the kid's fault its his parents. But how do I tell my husband "your co-worker/friend and his wife are not welcome in my home. You didn't witness it but her actions pushed me to the edge and had it been anyone else's kid I probably would have spanked him on the spot, when he didn't listen! And then I would have cussed her out for yelling at me and giving me such a dirty look but I didn't and I don't ever want that to happen in my house again!" So I don't tell my husband I don't ever want them in my house again. Instead I just told him what happened and emphasize that I'm not really her friend like that.
Christmas day was wonderful. My husband spoils me rotten and he heard my wishes and went out and got me the mac book I really wanted. Now I must be the best student and the best attorney ever now that I have the most expensive computer love can buy lol. I try to spoil him but what do you buy for a man who has everything he wants and needs?
New Years Eve. Clearly this is a world wide celebration. And honestly I have no idea how the Japanese ring in the new year but I heard they do it big in Tokyo. We brought in the new year at a friends house with several of the other couples we like to hang out with. We had a potluck BBQ and watched stand up comedy. Then the men played spades as usual and us women just hung out and watched TV and talked. That one particular wife never showed up although she and her husband were invited by the hosts as a courtesy and her husband came briefly but left after he ate.
Olivia took a brief nap and was awake when the clock struck midnight. And my husband was right there to give me a new years kiss to bless our marriage with lots of love and success in the new year.
I think it goes without saying that the holidays are always hard when you spend them away from your family. For me it was really tough. This was the first time ever in my life that I had not spent Christmas with my parents and siblings. And to add insult to injury they are an entire day behind so we couldn't even get on Skype and open presents together. I didn't even get to watch my family open their presents. On my Christmas day I made it all the way to dinner without so much as a tear but then my older sister called and it reminded me of how much I love and miss my crazy family. Plus knowing that Olivia did not get to spend her first Christmas with her grandparents the way I did as a kid was heartbreaking but I guess that's just the downside of having such a tight knit family that, as crazy as they are, I love them and they are pretty much the coolest family on the planet. I think for me the hardest part is knowing that when I finally broke down and cried I knew it hurt my husband, not only because I know he feels bad that I can't be with my family because we are in Japan due to his job but also because I know part of him feels like he and Olivia are my family so I should be happy that the three of us get to spend our Christmas together. I know that there are many Christmas's to come that he won't be around because he will be on a boat somewhere and I cherish the time we get to spend together but that doesn't take away from the homesickness I feel mostly on Christmas because of the great memories and loving family I have.
So there you have it, the holidays in Japan. With all the drama and a little bit about how the Japanese celebrate...more like whether or not they celebrate. And now I am all caught up to the present so stay tuned for more adventures in the life of the Real House Wife of the Navy!
Moving on. When I came here I knew almost nothing about Japanese culture and with my very ethnocentric view point (I'm ashamed to admit it but I was so naive but I am learning everyday and loving it.) I just assumed the Japanese celebrated the same holidays as us "stupid Americans" lol. Oh how I was wrong...but still very right. So just a little back ground. Only 4% of Japanese are Christian. The other 96% are Buddhist, or Shinto or a combination of the two. In fact the majority practice both not just one or the other, and even some of the Christians follow Buddhism and Shinto as well. So after learning this, to which I was try shocked, (but if you learn even a tiny bit of Japanese history you will learn that Japan remained very isolated especially from Europe until the 19th Century and then there was only limited interaction).
Anyhow first came Halloween. Since I had just learned that the majority of the Japanese people were not Catholic or Christian I figured that they would not celebrate Halloween. (All though it originated as a Pagan holiday it transformed into a Catholic/Christian holiday when Christianity migrated to the Celtic lands during the 800s A.D.) But to my surprise Halloween is a huge holiday here in Japan. I have yet to understand the Japanese celebration of Halloween but I have come to the conclusion that their fascination with Americans has made Halloween a celebration here. Here on base Halloween was not celebrated on actual Halloween because it fell on a week day this past year so the trick-or-treating took place the Saturday before. Military ID holders could sponsor their Japanese friends to come on base so they could experience Halloween, the American way. Their costumes were fun and simple almost always a simple witch hat or cat ears, or princess tiara for the girls and for the boys it was usually just a witch hat or simply the pumpkin shaped candy bucket that they would carry. There were a few ninja outfits. In the days leading up to Halloween outside the gates the people of the city started dressing up for Halloween. Similarly to the way people in the states start wearing Christmas sweaters in December. The malls were all decorated for Halloween. I still don't understand it much but in my head I was thinking "for a country that mostly follows the Buddhist and Shinto religions why are they so fascinated with Halloween? And how exactly do they celebrate Halloween?" We haven't made any Japanese friends yet so I haven't had the opportunity to really ask these questions but my assumption is that they celebrate it similarly to the way Americans do and their fascination with it is due to their fascination with all things American. Anyway my husband and I were a little bit shocked when we learned that the trick-or-treating would be done on the Saturday before Halloween and not on the actual day. But I think it worked ok.
Next Veteran's Day. The Japanese don't celebrate it. And why would they? I'm sure they have a day where they honor their fallen soldiers but its not November 11th. And quite frankly that's ok with me. Having a day during the week that my husband has off that the Japanese don't allows us to go out in town and explore the area without having to deal with mass crowds of Japanese people because they are all at work! We had planned on going to Tokyo Disney with my husband's Sponsor and his family but it didn't work out due to weather and sadly Olivia had a cold so it was best we just stuck close to home.
Now on to the big ones: Thanksgiving and then Christmas! So Thanksgiving is not celebrated by the Japanese either. Although they seem to like putting up turkey decorations in November lollol. I made a special blend of spices, herbs and seasonings with some secret ingredients and then mixed it with some softened butter and rubbed that butter under the skin and over the skin and I injected those flavors right into the meat of the turkey. When my turkey was done I was worried it was going to be not as successful as I had hoped but that was the main event of the day so I had faith it was going to be ok. Imagine my surprise and great joy when I hear the guys say that turkey yesterday was good but this turkey tonight has some great flavor! No one really said it was better than the deep fried turkey but saying it had some great flavor and was just as good was enough for me! It was moist and delicious and they liked it enough to ask me to cook the turkey if we got together for Christmas. And my husband liked it so much that he asked me to cook another turkey dinner just a week later lol. Now I just want to add that the wife that I decided I didn't want to be friends with (read my previous blog) was there with her husband and their son and they broke home training rule #1. They ate and ran. Now I have no intention of really being her friend nor do I really care that much that they didn't stick around and maybe it was for the best that they didn't stick around but they really did come for the food and leave. They showed up late ate and left. There was very little fellowship with them and quite honestly it didn't seem like they really wanted to be there...and so they left. No big deal but I just thought I would mention it. It will make more sense when I talk about Christmas.
Christmas. The Japanese seem to celebrate Christmas. They decorate with lights and have Christmas trees and sell decorations that say Happy Merry Christmas lol. They probably celebrate Christmas the way many Americans celebrate the holiday, without any religion at all. Its a tradition or custom not a religious holiday to them. Maybe a day to give gifts to each other without any understanding or maybe just no recognition of the origin of the holiday. Regardless it is celebrated here and its fun to experience the Japanese version of the holidays we cherish most as Americans.
As for us, my husband and I hosted a Christmas Eve dinner at our house with a potluck dinner cooked by me and my closest friend here. The wife I decided I didn't want to be friends with was invited because our husbands work together and it would have just been wrong to not invite them. She even offered to cook some food, and we said she was more than welcome to cook what she wanted. Thankfully, we had all our bases covered because she called me a half hour after we had said we were going to eat and asked me how many people were going to be there tomorrow for dinner. I had to explain to her that it was not tomorrow but tonight and we already started eating. She was more than welcome to come but we had already started dinner. (I don't like to let food get cold so when we set a time that's what time we eat!) Anyhow the wife came. She left her son at home with her husband. She ate and hung out. Then she went to get her son and that's when all hell broke loose. The men retreated to the kitchen to play spades as usual and the women and children stayed in the living room. I put on dance dance revolution on the Wii and we all started playing and having a good time. That is until that wife started playing and stopped paying attention to her son. He started playing with the ornaments on the tree and taking them off. Since his mother is in the room I try to refrain from parenting him and I just don't like to have to correct other people's children ever (unless that's what you are paying me to do). It was loud because of the men getting loud in the kitchen and the video game going on. So I tell the little boy, "not for [insert his name]" over and over again. I do increasingly get louder because I am hoping that it will get his attention and distract him from distorting my tree on Christmas Eve or that it will get his mothers attention and she will stop him. Unfortunately I did not get the response I was expecting. Instead what I hear is "Faryn, don't yell at him!" Then she got up and supervised as he played with the ornaments and then did not place them back on the tree where they came from. I was frustrated and irritated and went to the kitchen for a break from the irritation. When I returned to the living room the boy was trying to break the door off my entertainment center. I repeated my little phrase "Not for [insert his name]" (I tell Olivia "Not for Olivia" when she is grabbing things I don't want her to have so that's why I was saying it to the little boy). His mother starts yelling and cussing at him but is in the middle of a game so she doesn't want to do what I think she should do and that's remove him from the situation and tell him no. Finally when I see the hinges on the door starting to bend, she starts to yell louder and I say, "that's not working, he's going to break the door!" and finally she stops what she is doing and moves him. But turns to give me a dirty look. I then went to the kitchen to clean up and I was pissed. The other wives watching are all shocked at what they have just witnessed. And its written on all of our faces that we are all disappointed in what just happened. After she left I was relieved (her husband never came) that she was gone and in my head I was thinking "she is no longer welcome in my home, and neither is her little brat!" but in all reality its not the kid's fault its his parents. But how do I tell my husband "your co-worker/friend and his wife are not welcome in my home. You didn't witness it but her actions pushed me to the edge and had it been anyone else's kid I probably would have spanked him on the spot, when he didn't listen! And then I would have cussed her out for yelling at me and giving me such a dirty look but I didn't and I don't ever want that to happen in my house again!" So I don't tell my husband I don't ever want them in my house again. Instead I just told him what happened and emphasize that I'm not really her friend like that.
Christmas day was wonderful. My husband spoils me rotten and he heard my wishes and went out and got me the mac book I really wanted. Now I must be the best student and the best attorney ever now that I have the most expensive computer love can buy lol. I try to spoil him but what do you buy for a man who has everything he wants and needs?
New Years Eve. Clearly this is a world wide celebration. And honestly I have no idea how the Japanese ring in the new year but I heard they do it big in Tokyo. We brought in the new year at a friends house with several of the other couples we like to hang out with. We had a potluck BBQ and watched stand up comedy. Then the men played spades as usual and us women just hung out and watched TV and talked. That one particular wife never showed up although she and her husband were invited by the hosts as a courtesy and her husband came briefly but left after he ate.
Olivia took a brief nap and was awake when the clock struck midnight. And my husband was right there to give me a new years kiss to bless our marriage with lots of love and success in the new year.
I think it goes without saying that the holidays are always hard when you spend them away from your family. For me it was really tough. This was the first time ever in my life that I had not spent Christmas with my parents and siblings. And to add insult to injury they are an entire day behind so we couldn't even get on Skype and open presents together. I didn't even get to watch my family open their presents. On my Christmas day I made it all the way to dinner without so much as a tear but then my older sister called and it reminded me of how much I love and miss my crazy family. Plus knowing that Olivia did not get to spend her first Christmas with her grandparents the way I did as a kid was heartbreaking but I guess that's just the downside of having such a tight knit family that, as crazy as they are, I love them and they are pretty much the coolest family on the planet. I think for me the hardest part is knowing that when I finally broke down and cried I knew it hurt my husband, not only because I know he feels bad that I can't be with my family because we are in Japan due to his job but also because I know part of him feels like he and Olivia are my family so I should be happy that the three of us get to spend our Christmas together. I know that there are many Christmas's to come that he won't be around because he will be on a boat somewhere and I cherish the time we get to spend together but that doesn't take away from the homesickness I feel mostly on Christmas because of the great memories and loving family I have.
So there you have it, the holidays in Japan. With all the drama and a little bit about how the Japanese celebrate...more like whether or not they celebrate. And now I am all caught up to the present so stay tuned for more adventures in the life of the Real House Wife of the Navy!
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Other Crazy Navy Wives
My first experience with a Wife I decided I didn't want to be friends with!
Shortly after arriving in Japan I learn that I will have to take a special week long orientation course as well as a day long driving course in order to obtain my SOFA (Status Of Forces Agreement) license to drive. I was excited because another Navy wife I became friends with back in San Diego, said thats one of the ways she made some friends on her base. So I was looking forward to getting out of the house and getting some baby free time to make some friends. Then I learned that one of the guys from my husbands command, would have his wife in the same class as me. I was excited at first because I thought this would be a great opportunity to meet another wife and I had heard she was closer to my age which I thought would be great. The first day of class was the day I learned we probably wouldn't be that good of friends. She showed up 20 minutes late to class because she just had to go to the minimart and pick up some snacks and it made her late. But she seemed nice and I had just met her so I wanted to reserve judgement until I got a better feel for her. As the week went on I started to learn that we were on very different levels in life. But I was so desperate for friendship I figured it couldn't hurt to try to be friends with her since we are both new here, we are both new Navy wives and we both have young kids (hers is older than mine but still young) plus I figured since our husbands work together I might as well be friends.
Later that week we had to take a "field trip" with people in our class. Since our husbands had spent the week at home with the babies and we had become friendly we decided we would take our field trip together and our husbands could meet us at the train station and the 4 of us could venture out together. And so we did. We went to China town. (I know the idea of a China town in Japan is odd but real nonetheless).
I was excited! My first family outing on the train and we were finally getting out and doing some sightseeing, plus it wasn't 95 with 100% humidity. Anyway we got off the train and had to walk a few blocks to China town. To get there we walked through this high end shopping district which I was not even close to interested in looking at because they cost way too much and they don't even have plus size so why waste my time? Besides I am just taking everything in an enjoying the day out with my husband. From the side I hear this little country voice say, "I can't wait til we get to China town! I'm trying to get me some knock offs! You know knock off Louis and Coach! I'm trying to get it for cheap!" I looked at my husband and we both shared a quiet chuckle and kept walking. I had no expectations of what China town would be like since I had never even been to one in the states. I was just looking forward to some Chinese food (a change of pace to the Japanese cuisine we had been consuming at each time we went off base) and maybe see something new and exciting I never seen before. And trust me when I say I saw something I never seen before!
So we walked through China town looking in different little shops at knick knacks and "authentic" Chinese things (none of which we thought we needed but were fun to look at). We tried street vendor food which was delicious by the way. We bough these little pouches of pork. I have no idea what they are called or really what was in it but they tasted good so when we walked by another street vendor selling them bought them again. They looked kind of like a those little pizza rolls you get from the frozen food section of the grocery store but a little bit bigger and they are deep fried and filled with some sort of meat that I'm almost 100% certain was pork but they were so good it could have been anything and I would still eat them. Back to the point. After walking and looking at all these different Chinese shops we decide its time for lunch. Olivia was starting to get fussy and my stomach was starting to growl so loud it was darn near cussing me out for not eating lol. After walking past several restaurants we finally decide on one and go in and sit down.
Here is where the craziness begins!!! We are sitting at the table looking at the menu trying to decide which picture looks most appetizing since we don't speak or read Chinese or Japanese (not really sure which language the menu was in but I suspect Japanese). The other wife takes her baby who is about 16 months old to the bath room which is directly behind my chair and its not a restroom like what you might expect. This is a toilet with a sink next to it behind a sliding wood door (similar to those cheap wood sliding closet doors that never stayed on the track like I had at my house as a kid). Next thing we know we her son screaming at the top of his lungs and her country voice telling him to shut up. The restaurant was extremely small, what most would say is smaller than a hole in the wall lollil irritated at me for pointing it out to her. (I was just trying to help her out since she was starting to irritate the waitress and embarrass me.) Finally she ordered this huge lunch platter that had a little bit of everything on it. I thought for sure she would find something on there that she liked and would be satisfied but to my surprise I was completely wrong.
While we waited for our food the next embarrassing event occurred. Her curious lil man seemed to have more energy than she was willing to put up with because as he was standing on the booth seat next to her bouncing up and down she snapped at him to sit (as if giving a command to a dog). When he refused she spanked him right then and there, in the middle of this tiny little restaurant, in front of all these quiet Japanese patrons who are now staring at us as if we are barbarians without an ounce of civility in us. At this point I have become great friends with the table and the silverware and condiments on it because I refuse to look up and acknowledge that any of this is actually happening.
Not only is she allergic to 90% of everything edible (ok this is a severe exaggeration but it literally took her several minutes to name all the foods she is allergic to and then another minute to add in the items their son is allergic to on top of that.) but she is incredibly picky. She refused to try half the stuff on her plate, and then out of the stuff she was willing to try she could actually only eat about half of that because the rest contained products she might be allergic to. After picking over her food she finally ordered her starving baby some chicken. (he fussed the entire time I was trying to eat because his parents didn't order him anything.) The crazy part about this is that the wife acted irritated after the waitress didn't understand what she wanted.
Thats not even where the story ends. As we walked the rest of China town this poor child was spanked again on the street corner where we endured more stares and looks of scorn. This has turned out to be the most embarrassing day in Japan yet. (Even more so than the very first day we got here and I am pushing a stroller with a crying infant and pulling a cart with 4 very large suitcases on it through customs at the airport.) Anyhow this child doesn't seem to listen very well and thus the reason for this spanking. My husband and I stopped at the this booth right on the sidewalk (just outside this China shop...real china you know the kind you eat off and collect) where this man was painting Name pictures for money. I thought they were pretty cool so my husband agreed to let me get one. As we were waiting for the man to finish the painting this child keeps running into the China shop and his mother is not even watching him. He almost broke this statue on the floor but I grabbed him in time. His mom told him not to go in there and then turned around and started yapping about trying to find the bootleg stores so she could get her knock off purse. Before you know it he was back in the store and this time the dad caught him and just when he was about to say something to the kid the mom ordered that he be put down. She picked him up and as she walked just a few steps away you could hear the "pop pop pop!" of her hand hitting his little legs and then his cry rang out! It seemed at that moment as if time had stopped. Every person stopped and looked. They stared and gave these horrible disapproving looks at not only her and her husband but also at us as if to say, "We don't do that here. That's unacceptable. Please make her stop."
Now I am all about spanking. I think it is a necessary tool in the tool belt of parents but should only be used in appropriate times and settings. I do believe in sparing the rod and breaking the child as the Good Book says. (I am definitely against child abuse though and it is a fine line). However, I do believe that there is an appropriate time and place for it and in public is never one of them. At the time that this took place I had only been in Japan for about a month and a half. I still knew very little of the culture but in the class that week we had already learned that the Japanese are a very quiet people; they keep to themselves and expect the same in return. They don't show affection in public (and from what one of the Japanese instructors told us they don't really show affection at all even at home.) so it seems logical that they don't spank or even reprimand their children in public. I'm not really sure if discipline is even necessary in their culture because they are such respectful people (and it is clear this is taught at a young age); not just respectful to their parents but maintaining good behavior is how they respect their ancestors and their entire family, and keep from disgracing them. What I do know for sure is that from the looks on the onlookers faces alone I know that spanking (at least in public) is very much frowned upon.
What's more puzzling about the situation and even the entire day was that the wife seemed to not notice the looks of disapproval and even commented that she "gonna make her baby behave no matter what!" as if spanking him was working; which I will tell you right now it wasn't. Her husband seemed to be frustrated by the entire situation as well and it appeared as though they were not working as a parental team but if that works for them, hey great, but not in my household.
After leaving China town we got back on the train and headed home. As we walked through his huge train station where we had to change train lines their son suddenly stopped walking and just sat on the floor, during "rush hour" at the train station. If you read my previous blog then you already know about the population here and that there is always a lot of people everywhere but its chaos during the "rush hour" time when people get off work. The little boy remains seated on the floor as his parents continued walking not even noticing his absence from them. I stopped and tried to coax him into walking with us and even offered him a ride in the stroller since I figured his little legs were tired. (Hell mine were and I'm an adult so I know a toddler who had walked the same distance as I had that day had to be physically exhausted too.) But to no avail. He was sitting on that floor and was not moving. When I tried to pick him up he screamed so then I had to get his parents attention. They chose the "yell from here" method of parenting and yelled his name through the train station and threatened to leave him there if he didn't "come on right now!" When he didn't budge they started walking again and just let him sit there. As a concerned parent (no matter how safe you tell me Japan is I'm not leaving a baby in a train station) stood there and continued to try to coax him to keep going because we were headed home when finally his mother reappeared and swiftly picked him up by one arm and told him to walk or she would drag him. He got dragged for only two or so steps before he complied. After that we parted ways and we decided to wander around this train station (It has a mall inside of it). We took the long route to our next train looking at different stores and even stopping to buy some cookies from this little bakery. The cookies were pretty good might I add. I think the couple caught and earlier train than we did. And as we explored our new town we laughed and joked about how the big lesson learned that day was that that couple would not be our "Off base" friends. For that we would stick with people who had parenting styles more similar to ours and with a little more "worldliness" about them that would keep us from getting embarrassed so much.
I just want to say that in defense of the couple and specifically the wife that I spoke about in this blog. They are both young. He is just barely 24 and she just 22. They are young in age and in their marriage and she just got out of the Navy herself so she is adjusting to the life of just being a wife not active duty. (but when I found this out I was incredibly shocked to see her lack of knowledge and respect for other cultures.) In any event they are a nice young couple just not the type of people we are used to hanging around.
Many of you reading this blog will probably think I am extremely judgmental and may even say I am bougie. In that case, yes I am. I guess you have to be in the situation to truly understand it. And I admit to being judgmental. We all are, but not everyone voices their judgments. And I do have my bougie moments too. I am not denying any of this. When I told my mother this story and I defended this couple by saying they are young and then told her their ages my mom said, "thats not that much younger than you." I said i know and before I could even get out the rest of my sentence my mom interrupted and said, "but you were 25 when you were 18 so in terms of maturity and life experiences you are much older." I am not blowing my own horn here but thats just the reality of the situation. Anyhow please stay tuned for the next blogisode (yup i just made that up like George W. Bush lol its a mix between blog and episode lol) of the Real House Wife of the Navy.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Moving to Japan
Let me first introduce myself. My name is Faryn and I have been happily married to a sailor in the U.S. Navy for a year and 2+ months now. We have a beautiful daughter Olivia who just turned 7 months old on the 1st of the year. She is our pride and joy. I have joked about writing this blog for quite some time now (actually since before Olivia was born...pretty much since I said "I do" and became seemingly obsessed with the Real Housewives series on bravo and Army Wives on Lifetime lol).
I must preface this blog with the following statements: in no way shape or form am I knowingly or purposely breaching OPSEC that is never my intention and I am doing my very best not to so please don't ask me where we are exactly or about any specific aspects of the military here because I cannot answer them in detail, further this is not a military bashing blog either, I am a very liberal democrat but I support our troops 100% although I don't always support the cause (yes that is possible), and most importantly I am a very proud Navy wife and I take pride in the work my husband does for our country! Having said that let me begin.
It has been almost five months now, since Olivia and I made the trek to Japan to be reunited with the love of my life and father of my daughter, who has been stationed here. We are just a short train ride from the infamous Tokyo and many other beautiful wonders of Japan. It was about 18 months ago that my husband came up for new orders and I suggested we try to go abroad somewhere. Specifically I said, "Lets go to a foreign country or something. We are young and don't have any kids lets go to Japan or some place cool like that." Shortly there after word got passed down that my husband would likely get the orders to Japan. Shortly thereafter we decided we would start trying to have our first child. (Im sure if you do the math you will figure out that we were not married yet and no we don't care what you think we had already decided to get married at that point and we thought it would take longer to get pregnant than it did.) When the official orders came down my husband (fiancé at the time) came home and said, "Babe its official we are going to Japan." and I said "Its official we are having a baby!" And it was with that we frantically began to try to plan out how all of this was going to work out.
I was still working on my law degree (I am still finishing up through online courses) and trying to plan a wedding, all while trying to figure out what I was going to do about school and trying to figure out what I was going to do about having this baby. So we finally decided that my husband would leave and go to Japan in February like planned and I would stay behind in San Diego and finish up another semester of law school and then have the baby there and hopefully he would fly back in time to be there for the birth. We were blessed more than enough and my husband and my mother were there for the birth of our beautiful healthy daughter Olivia. Two weeks later we uprooted our life as we knew it and had our household goods shipped to Japan and I packed a suitcase and Olivia had a suitcase and we moved to Washington state to spend the summer with my parents until Olivia was old enough to be medically cleared to moved to Japan.
Fast forward seven months. We have been in Japan almost 5 months now. I went through the stages of transitioning to living in a foreign country. First is the excitement of living abroad and the anticipation of all the goals you have set for living abroad like learning the language and taking in the culture. Second is the depression of living in a foreign country. Missing "home" and all that entails. Like other people that speak English, being able to go off base and go to a drive through of jack in the box at 2 am if need be, missing the ability to see friends and family whenever you want (ok or an inexpensive plane trip away). Third is adjusting to the life. I have finally reached step three. I have become accustomed to living here in Japan and have somewhat made a daily routine for me and Olivia although we don't always follow it to a T but it works for us.
So the most important tool to have as a Navy wife or any branch of the military really is the ability to make friends quickly. Thank God He blessed me with this skill, and that there is a sponsor program in the military that pairs active duty personnel up so that the new guy has someone to show him around their new duty station. Luckily God blessed my husband with a great sponsor and his wife has become my closest friend here. The downside to this tool in my Navy wife tool belt, as I like to call it, is that I have inadvertently made some people feel as though we are friends when I would rather not be. (That's a story for another Blog)
I have made some friends and have now experienced some great things here in Japan. I have learned to drive on the "wrong" side of the road and in the passenger side of the car lollil paper toilet seat covers instead they have seat sanitizer you spray onto some toilet paper, wipe down the seat then toss the toilet paper in the toilet. Ok enough about the bathrooms. Everything is electric.
The doors are electric; rarely do you ever have to open a door, they automatically open for you or you just tap where the handle would be and the door opens.
There is a vending machine for almost everything. You can buy beer, cigarettes, alcohol, drinks (hot or cold), juice, coffee, water, soda, a hot cup of noodles, even fresh produce all from a vending machine. There are even vending machines that sell gadgets like iPods, cameras and phones in them.
The Japanese people as a whole are extremely nice very quiet and keep to themselves but they are so nice and almost always willing to help out the "stupid Americans." Japan is also one of the safest places to live in the world! The entire country of Japan is comparably the size of California with a population the similar to that of the entire U.S. with a crime rate lower than that of Rhode Island or something like that (those are not exact crime statistics but the size and population are pretty accurate). There's not many other places safer to raise a family and if I didn't have a family in the states I miss and love so much I would love nothing more than to stay here a few more years and raise Olivia and any potential siblings she might have here.
The language is very interesting! Although I have not learned much and have little time to learn I love the idea that I have a great opportunity to learn another language. What I have learned so far is that many Japanese speak some level of English which comes in handy when we "stupid" Americans need help because we are lost or have no understanding of what in the world is going on around us. What is most interesting is that many words in the spoken language sound very similar to their English counterpart. Apparently this is because the Japanese genuinely love American culture (what ever that may be) and their language and culture has embraced and taken on many American aspects. I love the culture so much because it is such an old one and is incredibly rich. They value those who have come before them and their history, as well as respect and most importantly education. (something Americans have failed to recognize in the recent years). Although the Japanese traditionally lack affection of any kind I find them most interesting and sometimes even funny. (many things get lost in translation so often times we see shirts that say funny things in English because the meaning got lost in translation.)
The food. I have not really had any food that I didn't like here. Although if you know me or even knew what I looked like then you would know that theres not ever really been a time that I didn't like a food I put in my mouth. Before moving here I loved sushi, or at least the Americanized version of sushi. The sushi here is very different. No California rolls or the viva las vegas roll (found at Ra sushi bar and is one of my favorites). Just straight up rice and raw fish. Just doesn't sound appetizing now does it? For the most part it most definitely isn't. But there are a few different rolls I have found to be absolutely delicious. Many of which consist of crab or shrimp, salmon or tuna. Mainly because I refuse to eat pretty much anything else. Oh yeah I also like the pork sushi too. Sounds weird I know but it tastes absolutely divine. Aside from the sushi I have found that I do like the ramen noodles that are very popular here. Its mostly top ramen like in the states but also has a chunk or two of pork or beef in it with lots of little slices of green onions for flavor and texture and some random piece of something in it that looks almost like the white part of a hard boiled egg but then it has some pink design in it. I never eat it but the one time I did it had no flavor and the texture was more than I could handle so now I just push it to the side and devour my noodles. Also popular is the Japanese curry. It is decently good and edible but if you have ever had thai curry you will be very disappointed; just as I was the first time I had Japanese curry. In all reality it doesn't taste bad, just different. Then there's what we call the "beef bowls." Its really a bowl of rice topped with teriyaki beef, but it tastes good nonetheless. My husband always just gets the plain rice with beef but I like to shake it up a bit and I get the rice with beef and they used to make this one that had spicy bean sprouts on it that I loved but they don't have it anymore so now I get the one with spicy shitake mushrooms on it and its delicious. And of all my favorite food that we have tried here in Japan its Yakiniku...which is actually Korean BBQ. Go figure right its not even Japanese and leave it to Black people to love BBQ lol. (Thats just a joke not all black people like bbq and thats not a stereotype that should be furthered or encouraged based on this blog.) Regardless it tastes so good. Our favorite is this restaurant called the Great Viking. Its actually a buffet and is somewhat expensive but always worth it! The unique part about it that all the meats are raw. You get a tray and put all the food you want on it then take it to your table where there is an actually grill in the center where you grill your meat. I like the beef grilled then dipped in the Korean bbq sauce (which I mix with the spicy bbq sauce to create my own little concoction) then I put it with my rice and it tastes so good. (We just finished dinner, I'm full but still salivating at the idea of eating this food right now.) My husband actually likes to take the meat off the grill dip it in the bbq sauce and then put it in a piece of lettuce and eat it which is pretty good too. For some reason the rice here is so delicious. I have had jasmine rice and sticky rice many times before back in the states but for some reason it is so much better here. In fact some days I even crave the rice here. The rice has a special flavor to it that has yet to be captured and replicated in the states. The only downfall to the rice is that it makes you feel full but doesn't stick with you for very long. So don't get full on just the rice otherwise you will be hungry in an hour or so.
As for the sight seeing we haven't done a lot but what we have done has been absolutely great! We have gone grape picking at the base of Mt. Fuji and then watched and learned how grapes are turned into wine here in Japan. We have made traditional Japanese Washi Paper. That is probably the funnest thing we have done thus far. And our paper turned out pretty cool if I do say so myself. We have visited different parts of Tokyo, been to an aquarium where we saw a dolphin show, and recently we visited Landmark Tower; the tallest building in all of Japan 69 stories high with an elevator that travels at 750 m/hour. A speed at which my ears actually popped because of the change in pressure. The views were spectacular and breath taking in a way that is not even imaginable.
We have also visited malls and even done some shopping here. We saw The Rise of the Planet of the Apes in a Japanese movie theater. That was an experience to be had. Unlike in the states where the theater is general admission find your own seats, here in Japan each ticket sold is assigned to a specific seat. We spent nearly $50 on special "couples seating" where we got to sit in a love seat and watch the movie. It was actually really fun and there was no arm rest to move or get in between us. And actually the concessions weren't that expensive. The Japanese are very serious about being quiet in the movie theater. They do not want your phone going off or you will be asked to leave, and if you are laughing excessively then you will be asked to leave as well. Also they don't want you to ruin the experience for anyone else so they ask that you keep your gas and body odor to yourself as well. It sounds funny but its true. The movie screens are huge too. But the experience was so fun!
Now onto the bad. Most importantly right now the exchange rate does not favor the dollar. So doing anything in Japan is expensive after you do the conversion. But we make it work by trying to find inexpensive things to do or to go on tours sponsored but the base MWR office where we can pay for the tour in dollars so at least we know how much its really costing us.
Next is the language barrier. Although I find the language here very interesting its a struggle when you don't speak the language. I continue to tell my husband that it kind of makes me feel deaf when we are out in town and all the people around us are speaking a language I don't understand because I just don't hear it anymore and it is a weird silence that goes on when you are out in town off the military base because they speak so fast that even if you did understand the language they speak so fast you couldn't understand it anyway.
The Japanese are almost obsessed with American culture so we often get stared at and although the staring is not one of disrespect but of complete interest it is tough to get used to. They love babies, especially American ones or maybe its just mine, but they love to touch her and it really bothers me. She had never been the least bit sick until we got here and first time we took her out the nice lil old japanese ladies just fawned over her and held her tiny hand and oohed and aahed at her and before you know it my baby had her first cold that seemed to last forever. When she was finally better we ventured out again only for her to get sick again! It seems like every time we go out she gets sick. (I know its because she's little and a baby but I think its worse for me when she gets a cold than it is for her.) The really crazy part is that when the Japanese get sick like they have a cold or something then they were these funny surgical masks in an attempt to prevent the spread of germs to others but inevitably Olivia always gets sick and then she shares her sickness with her father and me.
The other downfall is the overcrowding. Japan is so over populated that there is always traffic no matter what time of day or night it is, and there is always a lot of people on the train. In order to truly explore any part of Japan it is best done on an American holiday during the week when the Japanese are at work. And we never go off base on a Japanese holiday because it will take at least 3 times longer to get where we are going and it will be extremely crowded wherever our destination is.
So thats pretty much our experience in Japan thus far. Stay tuned for more experiences of the Real Housewife of the Navy.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)