What has America come to?

As I sit here working on this post I am thinking about the case of Trayvon Martin, the countless missing Black children who the media has omitted from their head lines and sound bites. I am extremely saddened at the thought of a beautiful young man shot dead at the age of 17 and his murder has gone uninvestigated for over a month now. A young man in his early 20s was shot in Detroit by a convenience store clerk who refused to give the young man the correct amount of condoms for the money paid or a refund and the young man knocked over a rack of snacks, leading the clerk to shoot him. He was rushed to the hospital where he bled to death while his friends were accosted by hospital security. A young Middle Eastern woman was brutally beaten to death in San Diego (the place I called home for the past 3 years before moving to Japan). The attack on women in this presidential race is appalling. I fear for the future of my daughter. If my husband and I have a son he will look like Trayvon Martin.

I am angered and disgusted at the state of America today.  When I was a kid my parents never sugar coated stuff. My dad always told us he hoped things would be better for us, but in the mean time we are black kids growing up in white America. That means we must always watch what we do and say. In school we are told we can grow up and do and be whatever we want. Sadly for young black people in America like Trayvon they will never get that opportunity. As I sit here watching my 10 month old daughter play on my living room floor I say a silent prayer thanking God for such a beautiful and healthy little being and the opportunity HE has given me to raise her up, but I pray that no one ever finds her beautiful enough to take her from me. I pray she never goes missing. I pray that she never fall prey to predators like Trayvon's killer, or a pedophile or to human traffickers, because sadly I have seen the statistics and the reports that all tell me that there would be no justice for her. Those reports tell me that there is no room for her picture in the media is she should go missing and what's disgusting is that if the media did give her some attention it would only be to smear her name and suggest that it was her fault. I pray this prayer not only for her but for all the young children of color.

Justice for Trayvon Martin and all the other young people of color! Do we look suspicious???? Are we next? We wear our hoodies for all the injustices! 

Almost in tears I recognize that I have chosen the profession to which I am sitting here criticizing. Looking into the future I can only ask God to bless me with the opportunity to make changes to this system, so we can correct the injustices like that of Trayvon Martin, and the many others whom the media has left out.

As a child I never thought I would see the day that America would have a president that wasn't an old white guy. I cried when I watched the election and Obama was announced the winner and I cried even harder watching his inauguration. Although there have been things that I hoped he would accomplish in his 1st term that he has not done (mostly due to the republican party stalling at every turn and being downright defiant in willing to go to work for the American people) I can honestly say that I am proud to be an American because of President Obama's presidency. Sadly the downright racism that is going on is not only disrespectful to the President but to all people of color!

I pray that in my daughters lifetime there be a time when she does not have to worry about being the victim of a hate crime because she is a beautiful black woman.  I don't  want her to worry about whether or not she looks suspicious because she has on a hoodie. I want her to be proud of who she is and hold her head up high not scared or worried. I most certainly want her to never have to worry about whether or not she can go to the doctor because health insurance should never be an issue for her.

So today I held Olivia a little longer and hugged her a little tighter in hopes that she will recognize that she is loved and cared for; in hopes that it will protect her from harm; in knowing that I can't always be there to watch her every step but in cherishing every moment I get to spend with her. The disgusting crimes of hate and violence that have continued to occur over the past several months have reminded me that tomorrow is never promised and that I MUST cherish every moment I have.

And with that I will say, until next time just pray...

Time flies when...You're living life!

Since my last post so much has happened. Where do I start? Well I guess I will just jump right in! Since returning from Guam, we (my husband and I) have decided that we are going to put our plans to try for baby number 2 on hold. We decided that it would be less fun and definitely more difficult for me to travel if  I am pregnant and extremely more difficult to travel with Olivia and another little baby in tow. I guess that goes to show that we really enjoyed our vacation. Not to mention that we are really looking forward to doing more traveling and taking advantage of the opportunities presented to us while living in Japan. Plus Olivia is just now starting to get to the fun stages and is finally becoming independent where she can enjoy these vacations as well.

Since my last post Olivia has developed so much! In Guam Olivia started crawling practically overnight and when we returned home she started crawling like she has been doing it her entire life! I am fairly certain that the other kids at the daycare taught her to crawl. Speaking of daycare, Olivia is finally starting to enjoy daycare and I can tell because she no longer cries when I drop her off and she is busy playing and having fun when I get there to pick her up.  Sadly the child development center (CDC) here doesn't have permanent part time care. They just have permanent full time care or hourly care. If they had permanent part time I would have signed Olivia up a long time ago and had so much more free time on my hands.  But I try to sign her up for a couple of hours a week so she can socialize with other babies her age. Despite the germs I think its actually good for her and she is learning so much.
Olivia is also now eating so much table food. Bye bye baby food. She could care less about jarred food she wants food she can feed herself! Also if you have been following her weight gain issues, we finally got her seen by a pediatrician. Although she is not gaining a lot of weight and is in the very low percentiles we have been assured she is growing fine and developing in a healthy manner. She is physically strong and her  physical development/abilities are far surpassed most babies her age. We were told that she is simply just an efficient eater. She eats until she is full and she only needs 12-16 oz of fluids to be properly hydrated and that we should try to make that formula as much as possible. And as she gets older she will want formula less and less and food and water and juice more and more. So we were happy to have our questions finally answered and we left our appointment feeling more confident about the health of lil Olivia and assured that we are doing good as new parents.
Just last week Olivia finally decided that she could stand up on her own without holding on to anything. Then on St. Patricks day the luck of the Irish helped her get the courage to take 4 steps all on her own. I didn't really see it just the last step but then on Monday she was walking all over the gym while I was coaching. She is growing by leaps and bounds and everyday makes me more and more proud to be a mommy.  She loves going to the playground outside the backyard and loves going down the slide. She has turned into quite the big girl these days.

Recently my husband has been listening to me go on and on about how much I am dreading when he has to go back to a ship. His rate is ship bound which means professionally he is supposed to be on a ship the majority of his career. We met when he was on a ship and we got through the deployment and the out to seas and him being gone a lot. We made it work and got through it but now we are married and we have a kid and he is finally starting to see how much he would miss out on when he has to get deployed and all that. So after a discussion (more like several weeks worth of discussions) with his division officer and hours of research he has decided to apply to become an officer. The Navy has this program where enlisted sailors can apply to transfer from enlisted to officer. I really wanted him to do it because I thought it would be beneficial to him not just professionally but also financially. Plus it requires that he get his college degree. That right there was most important to me! That way if he decides he doesn't want to be a "lifer" he has an education to fall back on and has a much better chance of getting a job if and when he decides to get out of the Navy. Plus as much as I love Japan if he gets accepted (which he seems to think is something he will have to apply multiple times to get) we will have to leave Japan early and can go back to the states. My mom will love this. She misses her baby Olivia so much and I know that this has been incredibly hard on her having to watch her 1st and only grand baby to grow up from afar. Most of all it makes me feel so proud as a wife that my husband is taking steps professionally that will help him a great deal but also that he is thinking of me and Olivia so much that he is willing to trade his beloved job to try to become an officer.

So I am now just 3 credits away from getting my JD (Juris Doctor). It seems like just yesterday I was this scared 22 year old girl from the country moving to the big city of San Diego all by myself to start law school and what would be a whole new life. I am so blessed to finally be accomplishing my life long goal of going to law school. But when I made this goal I was in the fourth grade and I had no idea that after law school I would have to take and pass the bar in order to become a lawyer. So in all reality my goal is only half accomplished. But this journey thus far has been amazing and I wouldn't change any of it.

Over the past month I have been coaching a youth basketball game. A small group of 8, 5-6 year olds. They crack me up, but this has been the most fun but also the most challenging volunteer opportunity I have ever participated in. I have learned that these kids are great at one thing and not so great at another; working my nerves and playing basketball respectively. I love all of these kids though and I wouldn't take back volunteering at all. Some days the kids make me want to scream and then they make me want to cry with joy and pride. I have one kid on my team who seems like he has the most severe case of ADHD a 5 year old can have. He makes me want to quit everyday because he can't focus for more than 10 seconds. But then I have one kid who had never touched a basketball before the season and when we started he couldn't dribble other than dropping the ball and grabbing it when it bounced back up. Now he can dribble with one hand. Seeing him dribble the right way gives me such great pride and joy knowing that I helped him learn a skill that I have clearly taken for granted my entire life. I guess I don't remember learning to dribble or shoot (probably because my dad had us all pushing around basketball from the time we could crawl). For some it comes more naturally than it does to others but regardless seeing this young boy improve so much over the course of 4 weeks is so wonderful. Now if we could only get him to get that ball into the basket. He isn't quite strong enough to get the ball up high enough to get it into the 6 1/2 foot high basket but one day at practice he hit the rim and I think I was more excited for him than he was. Coaching has made me get up off my lazy ass and do something. It has encouraged me to be more active and start appreciating life. I now have started really paying attention to the food I put in my mouth, and trying to be more active! So to my team I say THANK YOU!!!

Over the past several months I have been more abundantly blessed than I know I deserve so I must give all the glory to God for that. Sorry for the delay in posting, but time flies when...you're living life! Until next time...

They Never Said it Would be Easy Just That it Would be Worth It

So when I originally sat down to write this blog it was about 2 weeks ago and I was pissed off at my husband for some reason (that was so insignificant that I have totally forgotten about it now, but in the moment it seemed so important). He had worked my last nerve for that day and I was just about ready to burst with anger and irritation but instead I spent the day hiding in my bedroom ignoring him. Later that night we worked it out like we always do. Like usual he figures out that I am mad at him and giving him the silent treatment (as opposed to how the old me would handle this situation i.e. an eruption of anger, screaming and yelling usually followed by tears of sheer anger and cussing), and he came into the bedroom and,  although with a snarky tone in his voice, asked what was wrong and if I wanted to talk about it. We argued for a while and as usual worked it out.
Anyhow the point of this all is that as much as I complain about all the down sides to being a military wife (let me tell you as a navy wife its tough especially when he is on sea duty because he was gone a lot but luckily for now he is on shore duty and for the next couple of years I don't have to worry about deployments or underways) not to mention having to just deal with the lifestyle of the military and all that there has recently been some good to come out of all this. Over the recent holiday weekend (Presidents Day) we went on vacation to America's best kept secret. Guam, where America's day begins lol.

The view from our balcony at the hotel at sunset

Guam is like Japan's version of Hawaii. This is where the Japanese go to vacation, so although it is an American territory with 2 military bases on it, almost the entire island is tailored to Japanese tourists. On a whim we decided to go to Guam. Here comes the good side of being a military spouse: we flew to Guam for free! Since I have moved to Japan I have griped and moaned and complained about the loud jets and other issues of living on a Navy Air base but we recently learned that we could travel for free from base to base wherever the planes are flying! It is literally freezing cold here in Japan and the weather in Guam was 85+ degrees with some humidity and sunny! The ocean was beautiful! Crystal clear and warmer than the hotel pool! For 4 days we enjoyed the tropical weather of this beautiful little island territory. Not to mention the many people who spoke English and the wonderful variety of delicious food!

 Fresh Jamaican Salad at the Yo Man Serious Food Jamaican Grill

 My husband's plate of Boston Beach Ribs, red rice, Jamaican rice, and cucumber salad from the Jamaican Grill

 My plate of Jerk chicken and BBQ ribs with red rice, Jamaican rice, and cucumber salad at the Jamaican grill! The food was so good!! and the Mango Iced Tea will make you wanna slap yo mama!!!!

 Izumidai fish, with julienned veggies, sticky rice and the best garlic butter sauce ever!!! It tasted so good I almost licked the plate

 Olivia's dinner of red rice!!!! She ate almost all of it too!

 Kareem's sesame steamed salmon topped with sprouts and pickled red onions and steamed veggies and bbq potatoes with the same garlic butter sauce! It was so good!!!!!

 My plate of red rice, salad, and bbq ribs and chicken! at the Chamorro Village (the locals food)

Kareem's plate of Kalbi beef (beef short ribs) and chicken shish kabobs with red rice and salad. It was really good!!!!

This was pretty much all the food we ate in Guam.The only thing missing is the thai food we ate for lunch with the best fried bananas ever!, the brazilian bbq dinner we had that was super expensive and not worth half of what we paid for it, and the california pizza kitchen we had for dinner the last night we were there cuz Kareem had never eaten there before. The food there was amazing to say the least. Due to the fact that Guam has a very diverse history of who "ruled" it there is no one culture there. There is a little bit of Spanish culture (thanks to Magellan), Japanese culture, local "native" island culture, plus a mix of the melting pot of American culture mixed in as well, not to mention the many different surrounding Asian cultures mixed into this too. As you can see from the pictures the food is incredibly diverse but incredibly delicious!!! The staple here is rice! Whether it is red, white or jamaican lol everything comes with rice. And for some odd reason I love it! Before moving to Japan rice was not important to me and was only good when topped with gravy or some stir fry with soy sauce lol but now rice is great with almost anything lol. What I really liked about Guam was how fresh everything was. Everywhere we went the restaurants boasted about how fresh everything is and how they used local fish, produce and everything else. You could tell the difference and the freshness of the food made everything taste so much better!!!!

We visited Cocos Island. We can now say we went there. It was nothing special but we can say we went there, and frankly it was completely overrated and overpriced!!!! If we ever go back (which I suspect we will) we will not be going to Cocos Island. We will save the money and go to the beach outside our hotel instead! 

We went to Fish Eye Marine Park. It was probably the cheapest thing we did but also our very favorite thing we did. You walk out into the ocean on a narrow boardwalk to a bomb hole from WWII and you go down into the bomb hole and can see all the local fish swimming around outside in their natural habitat! It was so much better than any aquarium you could ever go to! 

These are all the pics I took at Fish Eye Marine Park! It was by far my favorite tourist attraction! But I love the beach so I think that's why lol. 

We also visited Cocos Island, like I said before, the Talofofo falls, the Inarajan Natural Pool, Bear rock, Under Water World (a large over priced aquarium), and of course we walked along the strip of hotels and malls. They are also known for the worlds largest K-Mart which we also visited to get some little items like lotion and other toiletries. Let me tell you, for the worlds largest K-Mart it was disappointing at best lol. It was no different than you average K-Mart in your hometown. Talofofo falls was beautiful but I was chased by a huge bee. Yes I said it a huge bee. The only problem I had with Guam was the bees. They are about 3-4 inches long and they look like small birds lol. They come in a rainbow of colors and the locals tried to ease my fears by saying that they won't bother you but if you get stung by a black one you will die. After hearing that all the bees looked black no matter what color they really were. Bees terrify me and the ones in Guam are so big they would scare Big Foot lol. Although I love how the bees didn't bother my baby cuz if they had we would have never left our hotel room. And I love how my husband didn't seem to be bothered by them in the least but once we got on the plane home he told me they were huge but he didn't want me to be even more scared so he just pretended like they didn't bother him. What a great husband I have, cuz Lord knows if he would have freaked out like me we would have had a horrible time in Guam lol. 

Guam never sounds like a vacation spot. You never hear people say, "We are spending our vacation in Guam." or "We are going to Guam for spring break." That's why I said Guam is America's best kept secret. Very few people know how beautiful it is there or of all the fun things you can do there.  Very few people even know where to locate it on a map. But the truth of the matter is that although we had only heard a few things about it and they weren't always that good we had a wonderful time there. Yes it was hot and humid and we sweated so much you would have thought we just got rained on, we had a great vacation there. It might be due to the fact that right now Japan's mainland is in the middle of winter and its cold here and the last 3 years before this we lived in beautiful San Diego where it never gets this cold, but regardless this was a wonderful experience for us and we enjoyed every minute of it! So in summary although there are many downfalls to being a military wife (a great health care plan but shitty doctors yup I said it, dealing with the federal government on a daily basis, dealing with deployments, separations, being stationed far from the rest of your family and friends, moving often, etc. etc.) there are some great benefits too (living in a foreign country, free travel to other parts of the world, a great health care plan...on paper/in theory, military discounts on lots of stuff etc.etc.) Like I said no one ever said it would be easy...just that it would be worth it!

Until next time....

I Now Understand Shaken Baby Syndrome

So I am not sure what is going on with Olivia but the last few days she has been unusually fussy and her sleeping is off. She is usually a good sleeper and has been since the day she was born. She slept all the time  as a newborn enough that the doctors kept insisting I wake her up and nurse her (although I didn't because I thought it was mean to wake a sleeping baby, and I still believe that she will let me know when she is hungry and don't worry she does!) and she went through her phase of waking in the middle of the night to feed but at about 3 months she began sleeping through the night and so have I and I thoroughly enjoy it! Now she is 8 months old and either she has started the terrible twos extremely early or something is up with her! She is fussy and not sleeping or napping well. The other night she woke up at 12:45am and tortured her father until 2:30am when he finally came and woke me up because he was so exhausted from lack of sleep that he needed a break and asked if I could try to put her back to bed. Needless to say yes I did put her back to sleep...after 45 minutes a dose of tylenol and lots of singing and rocking!
Why the tylenol you ask? Well, earlier that day I noticed she had been tugging at one ear and she had run a minor fever, one you wouldn't give tylenol to bring down but I thought it might be caused by an ear infection or she is teething. Either way my baby was uncomfortable and I gave her about half the dose for her weight and it seemed to do the trick. Fever was gone and once it kicked in she went right back to sleep...at 3:15am. The next morning she woke up 7am wide eyed and bushy tailed and thank heaven for my loving husband who was up getting ready to watch the Super Bowl (the game started at 8am Sunday morning for us here in Japan) and get the house in order since we were having guests. I on the other hand got to sleep in until 7:25 which gave me 5 minutes to get freshened up before our guests arrived for the big game.
Meanwhile Olivia needs to be dressed and hair combed, face washed, diaper changed and fed. The latter three my husband did while I rushed to make myself presentable. Although for him washing her face, changing her diaper and giving her a bottle was a huge struggle because she kept screaming out, "Momma! Momma!!! Momma!!!" and then crying at the top of her lungs when she couldn't see me! As cute as this is and as proud as it makes me that she wants me I know that is breaking my husband's heart that although she will say, "Dadda" she doesn't and it seems like she wants nothing to do with him 95% of the time. The 5% of the time she does want him it is because he has something she wants; you know like puffs, cheese, fruit, cookies, pretty much anything she wants to put in her mouth that he might have.
Now on to the shaken baby syndrome. NO I have not shaken my baby!!! But now that I believe she either has an ear infection or is finally getting those highly anticipated teeth she is extremely fussy! To the point where I can finally understand how a parent with no help or reprieve from the daily stresses of being a parent could be driven to shake their baby. Today Olivia screamed for nearly 30 minutes in an attempt to resist napping! (Why are children born with this innate sense that naps are bad and that they should not go to sleep even when they are extremely tired?) I sang to her, I rocked her. Then I decided I should recheck her diaper, take her temperature and be prepared to give her some tylenol if she has a fever. So she got a new diaper, had her temperature taken to which she had a slight fever and a half dose of tylenol. Following which she cried for another 5 or so minutes while I rocked and sang and finally went to sleep. But as she innocently cried I looked right in her eyes and said, "Olivia this is why little babies like you get shook!" It became clear to both of us that Mommy was tired and exhausted and needed a break and Olivia understood that she was nearing Mommy's breaking point. And we both understood how easily a beautiful little baby could end up with shaken baby syndrome.
I am in no way, shape, form or fashion advocating for anyone who has shaken a baby. I am merely saying that I understand how people can easily get to that point. Lack of sleep depletes patience and that lowers the level of tolerance one has for the sound of a crying baby. I don't think that most of the people who have shaken a baby had malice intent when they did it. They just wanted the baby to stop crying. As a parent you get frustrated and many times I have felt like Olivia is just straight up ignoring me and I have wanted to jolt her into attention but I know better.  I think the only thing that separates me (and other moms like me) from the people who shake babies is that I instantly recognized my breaking point and was ready to put her in her crib and let her cry it out until I could regroup but I was lucky enough that in that exact moment Olivia knew she went too far and quickly calmed down and just went to sleep.
On a different note, the wife I chose not to be friends with, is not going to be a Navy wife for much longer, sadly enough. I never wished for them to get divorced but merely to get along. I have never met a couple who dislikes each other so much (except for my parents but after 30+ years who could blame them? lol) The other day I found out they were getting divorced via Facebook! Yes I said it, Facebook!!! There was a post by the husband on a public site saying he was selling their dog because he was getting a divorce and moving back to the barracks!!! Who puts their business out there like that? They must really hate each other to just publicize their business like that? Just a thought.
On that note I am going to say, "until next time..." stay posted. Much Love from the Real Housewife of the Navy!

The Most Difficult Part About Being a Mommy...So Far!

So it's Wednesday here and like every other Wednesday and Thursday morning this semester I got up and took Olivia to daycare while I go home and sit through yet another "virtual" online class. Maybe it's because today would have been my grandmother's 78th birthday (may she Rest In Peace), but it was extremely hard for me to leave Olivia today. She was fussy this morning but when we got to daycare she went willingly with the daycare teacher. (Possibly because I handed the lady a freshly made bottle nice and warm to the perfect temperature for Olivia). Anyhow, this was the first time in a long time that Olivia went without crying...or so I thought. After I walked out of the room I glanced through the window in the wall (where I can spy on her) she started crying. She wanted her mommy and I almost cried walking away!!! I hate leaving her, but I know its for the best and I can't focus through class while trying to entertain her as well. So logically I know this is for the best, but my heart doesn't always agree.
I have struggled with my baby not gaining weight like I though she would, taking a day trip to the ER because of a concussion, issues with breast feeding, making the switch to formula and the feeling of failure that goes with that because I wanted her to be breast fed until she was at least 6 months old, the struggle of teaching her to sleep through the night (which we sometimes still struggle with), and the most occurring struggle is battling the idea of letting her "cry it out." I have heard so many non parents (including my own sister) tell me to "put her down and let her cry, eventually she will stop or cry herself to sleep. You are spoiling her!" This does not resinate well with my gut instinct and in fact it sounds and feels so harsh and cruel. Who would do that to their own baby?
I was the nervous and paranoid first time mommy who researched everything. From the type of diapers to use to bottles to clothes to cribs and other baby gadgets, and yes of course parenting techniques. What I found was that the best parenting technique is to go with your gut instinct. Not any one technique works for all families or even every kid within the same family. I also found that letting your baby "cry it out" breaks the bond and trust with your baby because their cry is a way of telling you something. Maybe they do just want to be held  or maybe they are bored, lonely, hungry, need a clean diaper, are tired, or a host of other things. For me I feel incredibly uncomfortable letting my baby cry. To all those who have or are using this technique please don't take this as a judgment of your parental style or skills this is about me and what works at my home. In all reality I would love to just be able to leave Olivia and let her cry it out but it just makes me feel so horrible when I do. I have tried and failed many times at letting her cry it out. Usually I don't even last a whole minute.
So I guess the truth is that the most difficult part about being a mommy is struggling with finding the right parenting technique, along with balancing all the other struggles of parenthood.
Most recently we have started the discussion of when or if to have another one. My husband would like to have a son. I wouldn't mind having another one but as a military wife and a Navy wife in particular the birth of kids must be planned around when daddy will be able to be around to help. Especially with us being overseas it is important that I have some help since we are talking about a potential baby #2. So since my husband is on shore duty now would be the perfect time to have baby #2 otherwise we have to wait till the next shore duty which is about 7 years from now. The other issue that I struggle with is: I love Olivia so much, can I really love another child just as much? Can I be fair and treat them both equally? Can we afford to spoil a second child the same way we have spoiled Olivia so far? How can I divide my time and love for two children? Will Olivia be jealous of a new baby? Will she feel left out? How can I manage another child and still fulfill my career goals when we get back to the states?
Are these normal thoughts and questions? Will Kareem want to try for baby #3 if #2 is another girl? What will happen to Olivia if the pregnancy for baby #2 isn't as easy as my pregnancy with her? I don't want her to feel neglected because Mommy is struggling physically. I think I have just become paranoid. lol. I actually loved being pregnant and part of me genuinely misses it. Although nothing in me misses the recovery from giving birth. (Labor and delivery were short, sweet and painless...that is until it came time to stitch up my 3rd degree tear...dontThats the life of a Navy wife.

Well I am pretty sure thats all I got for today. Stay tuned for the next addition and let me know your thoughts. Especially if you have answers to any or all the questions I pondered today. Thanks to all who read my blog. Much Love.

A Random Sunday Spent in Tokyo

So today is Sunday but let me start out by saying that this weekend has been anything but uneventful! Yesterday morning I was woken up by 2 moderately strong earthquakes! Although I am not really scared by them it doesn't make for a very good wake up...especially when I am not a morning person at all, and it was my day to sleep in (they hit about 7:45am)!!! Please believe I thought my husband was trying to wake me up early and I was fixing to curse him out when I realized it was an earthquake and not him. LOL.
Then this morning although I did get to sleep in (at least compared to yesterday) I was forced to get up and get Olivia out of her crib, even though my husband was already up and showered and everything! I was hoping he would let me get some extra sleep to make up for the sleep I missed out on yesterday. Boy was I wrong!!! If you know me you know that I don't play when it comes to sleep and when I feel I have been robbed of my sleep I get really irritated! So needless to say I woke up on the proverbial wrong side of the bed.
I was tired and irritated, and most importantly feeling under appreciated for the work I do Monday thru Friday and on some weekend days too. I felt like, "I get up with this baby every day of the week even when I am sick, tired, just went back to bed after a middle of the night feeding, etc. etc. and he can't even appreciate me enough to let me sleep a little bit longer and go get Olivia?!" And yes I was snippy to him when I got up and got her a bottle and changed her diaper and fed her. No worries I soon got over it! Needless to say when I got the chance I got up and took a shower and got ready to go. We decided to just get on the train and go to Tokyo Station and decide where we were going to go from there.
Well we made it to Tokyo station by train for the small cost of 720 yen or about $9.38 per adult. Not bad for a train ride into one of the biggest cities in all of Asia. Plus it took about 2hours to get there. You can't really be mad at that. We learned a few things. Tokyo station is the hub of central Metro Tokyo. Thats where you can catch the bullet train (known as Shinkansen in Japanese) and the bullet train is fairly expensive and when traveling across Japan is about equivalent to a Southwest airline ticket lol. You can also catch the train to Narita airport from there which is nice because Olivia does much better on the train than she does in the car and inevitably no matter how short the car ride is to the airport it is always a several hour ride home so Olivia has only taken that ride once (let me tell you that was the worst car ride with her ever). Also we learned that Tokyo station is not as cool as we thought and next time we are more likely to go to the stop before it and go out and explore Shimbashi instead.
Ok so after we got to the station we were starving since it was well passed lunch time and I hadn't really eaten anything all day and Kareem had a protein shake for breakfast. So first thing first we had to find some food. Just our luck there was a "food court" just off the platform. Sadly enough there were waiting lines for every place and we were starving. We got some "take out" from a place and went downstairs to eat. I got rice with some beef and mushroom sauce. It wasn't bad but it was far from my favorite, but I was so hungry I could have eaten pretty much anything at that point. Kareem had some chicken sandwich that was pretty good. Then we decide we are going to wander through the station and if we find an exit then we will go out and see whats outside but it was so cold outside that we had no intentions of forcing Olivia to endure the cold even though she had on clothes, shoes, a coat and a blanket and the stroller completely covers her. Plus we didn't want to endure the cold either. So we wander and eventually find an exit. We go out and end up at some random mall that we explore. Kareem decides he is starting to get hungry and we start looking for another place to eat but we decided to go home and eat anyway since Kareem had beautifully marinated a tri tip cut at home. After several hours of exploring we go back to the train station and start our trek home. We tried to purchase tickets for the reserved section of the train but since neither of us speak very much Japanese and as expected, the Japanese don't speak much English things weren't working out very well. But we made it back to Yokohama station where we changed trains and headed home on the express train. (We were now very hungry again so we were trying to get home as soon as possible.) just as we were about two stops from ours Kareem started receiving text messages from some of the guys he works with who were talking about the earthquake that just hit. Earthquake? I didn't feel anything.  The train didn't stop nothing happened and all the other passengers on the train were completely oblivious to any earthquake.
lol. However, I did find out from a friend of mine from law school who spends a lot of time here in Japan that usually if the earthquake is strong enough the train stops and everyone must get off and walk to the next train station or the conductor may let them stay on the train while the train tracks are inspected to make sure there are not problems in the track. I am so thankful that we didn't have to get off the train because it was so cold outside I don't know that I would have made it (and I had a winter coat on over a sweater).  Plus I was taking the train so I didn't have to walk, and we even drove to the military parking lot and walked the two blocks to the train station so we wouldn't have to make the 20 minute walk to the train station from the gate (not to mention the 10 minute walk from our house to the gate).  Either way I am just glad we didn't have to get off the train and that the train didn't even stop. It seems like Japan has an "earthquake season," just like Florida has hurricane season lol. And well, now is earthquake season.
After we got home I cut up some sweet peppers, onions and mushrooms and put them on skewers and drizzled some grilling sauce on them and then cut up some veggies for salad. Kareem put the tri tip on the grill and then put on the veggie skewers. His tri tip turned out perfectly. It tasted delicious! He is getting to be quite the grill master! To which I am so thankful. Although I love to cook anytime I don't have to is great! We had a wonderful home made dinner that I look forward to him cooking again!
After dinner I got the pleasure of my husband bathing our lil Olivia and then putting her to bed. This is a rare experience for me but one I enjoy.
So we had a random day in Tokyo but one well worth it and filled with fun and excitement and I look forward to doing it again soon!!!
To all my readers, thanks for your support and to all the new readers thank you for your time. Keep reading and stay tuned for the next post of The Real House Wife of the Navy!

The Many Hats I Wear or Should be Wearing lol

So not only am I a wife and a mother but I am also a student, a member of the greatest Sorority ever created Zeta Phi Beta, friend, neighbor, home trained nurse (thanks to webMD and google lol), self trained chef, sister, daughter, calendar keeper, grocery list maker, social planner and most importantly a worry wart, and some would even mention pessimist as well as judge and jury lol. My previous posts discussed my role as wife and mother and friend or at least who I am not a friend to, but I guess I can now explore the other roles I play.

I am finishing up my law school career. Long story short I will have one class left after this semester. Thank God because I have discovered that I have a great disdain for law school and I think the feeling is mutual. It has been a long hard road but one that I wouldn't change for anything in the world. If I hadn't taken a leap of faith and moved to San Diego for law school I would have never met my husband (who is also part of the reason that I almost flunked out after my very first semester of law school lol. That's not really the entire truth. The truth is that I didn't prioritize my time properly and I didn't study hard enough the first semester because I had no idea what I was doing and I ended up on academic probation but ever since then I have excelled beyond even my own expectations.) and I wouldn't have made some of the best friends in my life. Anyhow after having moved to Japan finishing law school has been a very different experience. I have learned that law school professors and technology don't mix well and for some they should never mix at all because it is almost always an epic fail. This semester not only is my class required to meet in a virtual class room but the program for this virtual class room has changed and the professors are so technologically inept that they spend more class time trying to figure out what the hell they are doing than they do teaching. It's so extremely frustrating I spend the rest of the class trying to refocus on the class and less on my frustration. (Which in itself is extremely distracting. I know that sounds contradictory but I also have self diagnosed ADHD but if you knew me you know this is completely accurate.) This semester I am in a class with a group of grandparents, yes actual grandparents. One guy has something like 8 grandkids. So as you can imagine his technological difficulties are often worse than the professors which is even more distracting! These people are extreme over achievers because they are at a special point in their lives. They have nothing else to do with their time than read more books so they are excited about taking more classes. Me on the other hand, I am so over law school I just want to pass and move on. I have no interest in the lives of these other people and could care less if they have any interest in me. So every class I just grin and bear it now. Especially since the other people in the class can actually see me the entire time I really do grin and bear it. (One of these old guys whose name sounds like he is part of the Taliban pointed out on the second day of class that I looked too serious. I wanted to tell him to shove it but I'm sure he meant no harm so I just fixed my face and kept it pushing. Besides, like I said his name sounds like I should keep an eye out for him. LOL And trust me when I say that if he looks at me sideways I am going to submit his name to NCIS lol.)  Oh man I just sounded like my dad right then. I guess that means I am getting old and bitter lol. So that is my student hat.

My Zeta hat was recently dusted off and I am excited to say that it still fits! I guess you can never outgrow being a Zeta no matter how much weight you gain or lose.  Recently was our Founder's Day celebration. My husband, poor guy, has never had any experience with Black Greek Lettered Organizations and even with me being a Zeta he knew that I am but because I was in law school I didn't have time to be active so he never got to experience it. Now that I am in Japan and need to make some friends I decided to reach out to the chapter here. The Founder's Day celebration was small but exciting nonetheless. I was so happy to be around Blue and White again but my poor husband felt out of place, not to mention that he was actually really sick but stuck it out so he could go with me. He has absolutely no understanding of Greek life and his extremely limited experience makes him feel like, "Greek life is for college, you graduated so why does it matter now?" I tried to explain it to him but it was an epic fail. So for now I just left it at its a great networking tool and a way for me to make friends no matter where he gets stationed. He's ok with the sorority but he struggles with the idea of the constitutional bond to Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity Inc.  He doesn't understand the Sigma/Zeta bond and that those men are no threat to him. But regardless I am excited to be back and active again. I have missed being an active Zeta so much and it feels like going home again...well almost.

webMD and google, I can diagnose almost any common ailment. I have learned how to treat the common cold in an infant, fix my husbands many bumps and bruises and most importantly when to call a doctor lol. Recently my poor little angel gave me a good scare. We woke up early, as usual, and like every other morning I got up and cared for her before even trying to go potty myself. After getting Olivia out of her crib and getting her a clean diaper I placed her on the living room floor on her play mat (the mat has a pretty cool little mobile that hangs over it that plays music and has a tent like structure that holds up the mobile.), she was sitting up like she has been doing for months now. She was playing with her toys and as I walked out of the room I yelled to my husband, "I love you! Have a good day, and be safe!" like I do every morning, as he walked out the door to work. Then Olivia started fussing since she couldn't see me. As I was finishing up my business in the bathroom (I was only in there maybe a minute.) I heard a thump then a scream and then it stopped. I was scared! I ran out of the bathroom to check on her and she was laying on the floor playing with a ball and seemed fine. I washed my hands and made her a bottle picked her up off the floor and proceeded to feed her the bottle. She drank less than an ounce and became extremely lethargic. Then she fell asleep. I didn't think much of it since I figured maybe she just wasn't hungry and was just sleepy, it was only 7:30am (that's early for me). As she layer on the couch she woke up when she threw up all over my couch. It was then that my "self taught nursing skills" kicked in. I connected the dots and thought she might have a concussion and called a doctor, who instructed me to bring her in right away. I called my husband so he could come home from work and take us to medical right away. The doctor instructed us that he thought she was fine but that if she threw up again then to bring her back right away because it could be that she had some head trauma. We took her home and just a few minutes before I had to go pick my husband up from work for lunch Olivia threw up again all over me, the couch, the ottoman, and the floor. Luckily this time I didn't have to call my husband away from work. I picked him up and we went straight to medical. In a matter of minutes we were ushered into an ambulance and taken to the big Navy base where the hospital is (about an hour by car) and it was in the ER that we were informed that they sent us there because they thought she might need a CT scan. Fortunately for us, the doctor explained the risks and benefits to us and made a thorough examination of Olivia and suggested we don't get the scan because she didn't believe it to be necessary and the risk of too much radiation a was too great. She had a mild concussion and the doctor suggested we continue to monitor her and gave us a list of symptoms to watch out for and to bring her back immediately if she had any of those symptoms. By the grace of God we didn't have to return to the ER! That is by far the scariest day of my life. No parent should ever have to experience their child being treated in the ER ever. I was blessed that there is nothing wrong with Olivia, and they think she probably just had a stomach bug that coincidentally showed up the same day Olivia took a spill. A week later Olivia is doing great and feeling well. That day I wore my nurse and worry wart hats. Let me tell you I would much rather that I never wear that worry wart hat ever again but I think it hides within my hair simply because I am a mother.

All the other hats I wear are more like pins that go on my wife, mother, and student hat. Sadly if you know me and you know the recent decision I have made you know I should be wearing some form of a hat...literally. As a Black woman I have struggled my entire life with controlling my hair and I have taken some drastic measures to get it under control. I have relaxed it, pressed it, braided it, cut it short, colored it; pretty much everything but simply comb it and love it the way God created it. Until I moved to Japan I had never lived somewhere so hot and humid. And quite frankly heat and humidity doesn't mix well with heat or chemically straightened hair. So after having Olivia I decided I was going to go natural! I was going to take the plunge and grow out my hair and stop chemically relaxing it and just use heat to straighten it. Now my hair has become a heaping mess and it often is wrapped up into a ponytail and should be covered in a hat...literally. Thankfully my husband truly loves me unconditionally because there are days when my hair looks horrible and when I say I have a bad hair day it usually means my hair is not cooperating with me and just looks worse the harder I try to make it look decent. But in the long run I have never seen my hair be so long and strong as I have now. It is thick and yes nappy as all get out, but strong. The new growth has its problems too but does not break off like the chemically damaged hair that is left. In about a month I will be taking the next step and chopping off all the old hair. By then my hair will be long enough to be put into a pony tail and I am getting so excited! I can't wait. In the mean time I need to put on my brave hat and call the lady whose contact info was given to me and get my hair braided!. Until then I am going to find a cute hat to rock! And I have made the decision to teach my beautiful Olivia to love the hair God gave us so that she never has to go through this crazy process of "going natural" and to teach her how to care for her hair so she can always stay natural.

The other hat I should be wearing is that of workout feign. No I am not a feign about working out. In fact I hate it almost as equally as I hate getting shots and giving blood. After having Olivia I weighed less the day I left the hospital than I did before I got pregnant. And at my 6 week check up I was 20 lbs less than when I got pregnant. Sadly enough when I arrived in Japan I started packing on the pounds. After being here only 2 months I had gained nearly 30lbs. When I had to order new pants in a larger size it was then that I made a conscious decision to live a healthier life style. Making the decision was easy. Actually doing it has been the most difficult thing in my life. I love food. I love to cook. For me the only art like expression  of my creativity is cooking. (If you ask my older sister she will tell you I came out of the womb bossing people around and I lack any and all forms of creativity).  I am not a picky eater and I have used food to comfort me nearly my entire life. What makes it even more difficult is that I AM LAZY! Yup I said it. I admit it! I am lazy! Although recently I discovered that I don't really mind working out. In fact once I get my lazy ass up I have no problem working out. But I always seem to have an excuse. I don't have the time because I don't have anyone to watch Olivia or when I am at home it seems like I can easily use Olivia as an excuse to sit on my ass and do nothing but hold her and play with her. But as of a week ago I made the conscious decision to do more than decide to lose weight and get healthy. I decided to actually do something. I bought some fitness games for the our Wii which I have been actually playing...diligently, and I am watching what I eat and I try to not put bad stuff in my mouth lol (which is proving to be more difficult than originally planned! Bread is loaded with calories and I love it so much!). I purchased some protein powder to make protein shakes as a substitute for breakfast (which is actually working! the flavor I bought is carmel chocolate and it tastes really good because it actually tastes like cake batter not carmel chocolate lol.)  I have gone against my own personal belief against diet pills and purchased some too. It may not be the healthiest decision I have ever made but I need all the help I can get and if the diet pills are going to get me to the goal line then so be it! (so far the best part about them is they are so packed full of energy boosters I don't feel so tired all the time.) Anyhow the gist of this is that I am genuinely trying to be better, look better, feel better, do better and be a healthier happier me. I guess this is a process in learning to love myself. So here's to a better me! Cheers.

Shout out to all the people who have taken the time to read my blog. I hope you enjoy my crazy stories, and continue to follow me through my journey as a Navy wife. Until next time....

Our Trip to the IKEA Store and the rest of the day.

So yesterday my husband had the day off. We had originally planned to go to the local Toys R Us to look for some baby shoes of our daughter but my loving mother spoiled that when she purchased several cute pairs of shoes for her from ebay. Instead we (mostly me but he agreed) decided we would go to IKEA and see if they had some curtains for our bedroom and possibly a toy box for our spoiled daughter and maybe some other things we might need for our house. So we stopped by our local Fleet and Family Support Center and picked up the directions as we headed off base.

It didn't take much time and before we knew it we were there. Driving around this crazy parking structure trying to find a spot as close to the elevator as humanly possible. We notice a lot of cars and people for a Monday but we proceed anyway...only to our demise! We got on the elevator and when we reached the showroom floor there were hordes of people everywhere! It was packed! My very first thought was, "Oh hell what did I get us into this time?!" followed immediately by, "Don't these people work?!" As we walked through the crowds using our sleeping baby in her stroller (which looks huge as if it is carrying around a baby Godzilla because it is so much bigger than the Japanese strollers) my husband and I laughed as we tried to figure out how it is that it seems like the Japanese never work but always have money and can always afford all this expensive stuff. (If you haven't read my previous blogs or forgot, everything here is extremely expensive. Especially the stuff that is American or we could buy in America. The IKEA stuff was expensive too.) Then it occurred to me, "I wonder if today is a Japanese holiday." Neither my husband nor I could think of any Japanese holidays that might occur on January 9th but we were sure it had to be one because there was just way too many people out for it not to be. So after we are in the middle of this extremely crowded store we decide to give up on looking for anything in this store and just make our way to the exit. This took us about 45 minutes to do but we eventually made it out of there. When we left I smacked my husband on the arm and said, "If you knew IKEA was like that why didn't you just tell me? We could have gone somewhere else!" He replied, "Well I thought you should experience it for yourself." Lesson learned for the day: Never ever go back to IKEA!

And yes! yesterday was a Japanese Holiday! It was 'Coming of Age Day' the celebration of everyone who is turning 20 this year. 20 is the age of majority here. Turning 20 allows one to vote, drink alcohol, and smoke cigarettes. This is apparently the way that the Japanese celebrate everyone's 20th birthday no matter what day of the year it is. I think its pretty cool but it sucked that we tried to venture off base and do something only to be accompanied by every other person in Japan. LOL.

On our way home we decided to stop at the local Japanese grocery store for some pre made food for lunch.  On our way to the grocery store we passed a building that I thought might be a hospital. Outside of this building was a larger silver van from which two men, in outfits that look like they might be paramedics, were unloading a gurney with what looked like a dead body on it. Ok maybe not a dead body but it looked like a body covered completely by a light blue or white sheet. Just a half block down the street we passed the hospital so maybe that place was the morgue. I'm not really sure but all I could think was, "don't they have aback door they could go through? I don't want to see that."My husband contends that we didn't see what we thought we saw and he could be right but until proven otherwise thats my story and I am sticking with it. Then just before we got to the grocery store we witnessed a Toyota Prius (they are extremely popular here so we see them all the time) making a right turn (equivalent to a left turn in the states because they drive on the opposite side of the road here) into a parking garage. The crazy part was that the car drove over  cement median to do it. Neither me nor my husband had ever seen a car do it before. I mean we have seen big trucks do it sometimes to get around to where they are going or to back into a place so they can unload the bed of the truck but never a small commuter car. We were both stunned and in awe of what we had just witnessed. This was definitely a shock and awe car ride lol.

The food we got from the grocery store was as good as expected. We got some gyozo, (which is like a large pot sticker, but better and we love them) and these rolls that are like a cross between spring rolls and lumpia. They are a small roll of deep fried deliciousness. My adventurous side forced me to get these other little brown things to try, not knowing what they were. But I got them intending to try something new. I thought they were going to be meat filled little pouches hopefully they would be good. To my surprise they were just pouches of rice and sesame seeds wrapped in some sort of brown, thin sponge like wrapping that was sweet. But they were very good and even Olivia liked them. So we were pleasantly surprised.

After our late lunch my husband decided that a Monday night is the perfect night to introduce me to Chu-hi a Japanese alcoholic beverage. Since I have been in Japan I have heard lots of talk about this drink but had not had one myself so on Saturday I had purchased one for each of us from the Japanese grocery store so I could try it. Then my husband bought two more different flavors when we picked up our lunch. So now there are 4 of these drinks in our fridge. Now I have had my experience with alcohol in my day so I was sure that two of these canned drinks were not going to have any effect on me. Boy was I wrong! I drank the first one which was only about 6% alcohol, but it was a large can. After I finished it I was already feeling sleepy and had a slight buzz. Then my husband brings me a glass with the peach flavored drink in it. It tastes delicious. I drank it a little too quickly and then we shared a third one and before you know it I had a full on buzz. So Im sure you are wondering what these Chu-His are. Well ImLOL and thankfully Olivia slept through the night as well.

My husband, who has been making a huge effort to learn to cook so I don't have to so often, also made some delicious BBQ ribs for dinner. I assembled the salad and made the baked beans (ok they are semi homemade, they were the canned Busch's baked beans doctored up with my own blend of added sauces and seasonings). Long story short dinner was delicious and a great ending to the day.

Stay tuned for the next addition to the Real House Wife of the Navy.

Holidays in Japan

Ok so first I have to apologize for the extreme typos in the last post. I have a 7 month old who has found a love and fascination with my computer and she wanted to make her "editions" to the blog lol. But I hope you got the gist of the story I was telling.

Moving on. When I came here I knew almost nothing about Japanese culture and with my very ethnocentric view point (I'm ashamed to admit it but I was so naive but I am learning everyday and loving it.) I just assumed the Japanese celebrated the same holidays as us "stupid Americans" lol. Oh how I was wrong...but still very right.  So just a little back ground. Only 4% of Japanese are Christian. The other 96% are Buddhist, or Shinto or a combination of the two. In fact the majority practice both not just one or the other, and even some of the Christians follow Buddhism and Shinto as well. So after learning this, to which I was try shocked, (but if you learn even a tiny bit of Japanese history you will learn that Japan remained very isolated especially from Europe until the 19th Century and then there was only limited interaction).

Anyhow first came Halloween. Since I had just learned that the majority of the Japanese people were not Catholic or Christian I figured that they would not celebrate Halloween. (All though it originated as a Pagan holiday it transformed into a Catholic/Christian holiday when Christianity migrated to the Celtic lands during the 800s A.D.) But to my surprise Halloween is a huge holiday here in Japan. I have yet to understand the Japanese celebration of Halloween but I have come to the conclusion that their fascination with Americans has made Halloween a celebration here. Here on base Halloween was not celebrated on actual Halloween because it fell on a week day this past year so the trick-or-treating took place the Saturday before. Military ID holders could sponsor their Japanese friends to come on base so they could experience Halloween, the American way. Their costumes were fun and simple almost always a simple witch hat or cat ears, or princess tiara for the girls and for the boys it was usually just a witch hat or simply the pumpkin shaped candy bucket that  they would carry. There were a few ninja outfits. In the days leading up to Halloween outside the gates the people of the city started dressing up for Halloween. Similarly to the way people in the states start wearing Christmas sweaters in December. The malls were all decorated for Halloween. I still don't understand it much but in my head I was thinking "for a country that mostly follows the Buddhist and Shinto religions why are they so fascinated with Halloween? And how exactly do they celebrate Halloween?" We haven't made any Japanese friends yet so I haven't had the opportunity to really ask these questions but my assumption is that they celebrate it similarly to the way Americans do and their fascination with it is due to their fascination with all things American. Anyway my husband and I were a little bit shocked when we learned that the trick-or-treating would be done on the Saturday before Halloween and not on the actual day. But I think it worked ok.

Next Veteran's Day. The Japanese don't celebrate it. And why would they? I'm sure they have a day where they honor their fallen soldiers but its not November 11th. And quite frankly that's ok with me. Having a day during the week that my husband has off that the Japanese don't allows us to go out in town and explore the area without having to deal with mass crowds of Japanese people because they are all at work! We had planned on going to Tokyo Disney with my husband's Sponsor and his family but it didn't work out due to weather and sadly Olivia had a cold so it was best we just stuck close to home.

Now on to the big ones: Thanksgiving and then Christmas! So Thanksgiving is not celebrated by the Japanese either. Although they seem to like putting up turkey decorations in November lollol. I made a special blend of spices, herbs and seasonings with some secret ingredients and then mixed it with some softened butter and rubbed that butter under the skin and over the skin and I injected those flavors right into the meat of the turkey. When my turkey was done I was worried it was going to be not as successful as I had hoped but that was the main event of the day so I had faith it was going to be ok. Imagine my surprise and great joy when I hear the guys say that turkey yesterday was good but this turkey tonight has some great flavor! No one really said it was better than the deep fried turkey but saying it had some great flavor and was just as good was enough for me! It was moist and delicious and they liked it enough to ask me to cook the turkey if we got together for Christmas. And my husband liked it so much that he asked me to cook another turkey dinner just a week later lol. Now I just want to add that the wife that I decided I didn't want to be friends with (read my previous blog) was there with her husband and their son and they broke home training rule #1. They ate and ran. Now I have no intention of really being her friend nor do I really care that much that they didn't stick around and maybe it was for the best that they didn't stick around but they really did come for the food and leave. They showed up late ate and left. There was very little fellowship with them and quite honestly it didn't seem like they really wanted to be there...and so they left. No big deal but I just thought I would mention it. It will make more sense when I talk about Christmas.

Christmas. The Japanese seem to celebrate Christmas. They decorate with lights and have Christmas trees and sell decorations that say Happy Merry Christmas lol. They probably celebrate Christmas the way many Americans celebrate the holiday, without any religion at all. Its a tradition or custom not a religious holiday to them. Maybe a day to give gifts to each other without any understanding or maybe just no recognition of the origin of the holiday. Regardless it is celebrated here and its fun to experience the Japanese version of the holidays we cherish most as Americans.
As for us, my husband and I hosted a Christmas Eve dinner at our house with a potluck dinner cooked by me and my closest friend here. The wife I decided I didn't want to be friends with was invited because our husbands work together and it would have just been wrong to not invite them. She even offered to cook some food, and we said she was more than welcome to cook what she wanted. Thankfully, we had all our bases covered because she called me a half hour after we had said we were going to eat and asked me how many people were going to be there tomorrow for dinner. I had to explain to her that it was not tomorrow but tonight and we already started eating. She was more than welcome to come but we had already started dinner. (I don't like to let food get cold so when we set a time that's what time we eat!) Anyhow the wife came. She left her son at home with her husband. She ate and hung out. Then she went to get her son and that's when all hell broke loose. The men retreated to the kitchen to play spades as usual and the women and children stayed in the living room. I put on dance dance revolution on the Wii and we all started playing and having a good time. That is until that wife started playing and stopped paying attention to her son. He started playing with the ornaments on the tree and taking them off. Since his mother is in the room I try to refrain from parenting him and I just don't like to have to correct other people's children ever (unless that's what you are paying me to do). It was loud because of the men getting loud in the kitchen and the video game going on. So I tell the little boy, "not for [insert his name]" over and over again. I do increasingly get louder because I am hoping that it will get his attention and distract him from distorting my tree on Christmas Eve or that it will get his mothers attention and she will stop him. Unfortunately I did not get the response I was expecting. Instead what I hear is "Faryn, don't yell at him!" Then she got up and supervised as he played with the ornaments and then did not place them back on the tree where they came from. I was frustrated and irritated and went to the kitchen for a break from the irritation. When I returned to the living room the boy was trying to break the door off my entertainment center. I repeated my little phrase "Not for [insert his name]" (I tell Olivia "Not for Olivia" when she is grabbing things I don't want her to have so that's why I was saying it to the little boy). His mother starts yelling and cussing at him but is in the middle of a game so she doesn't want to do what I think she should do and that's remove him from the situation and tell him no. Finally when I see the hinges on the door starting to bend, she starts to yell louder and I say, "that's not working, he's going to break the door!" and finally she stops what she is doing and moves him. But turns to give me a dirty look. I then went to the kitchen to clean up and I was pissed. The other wives watching are all shocked at what they have just witnessed. And its written on all of our faces that we are all disappointed in what just happened. After she left I was relieved (her husband never came) that she was gone and in my head I was thinking "she is no longer welcome in my home, and neither is her little brat!" but in all reality its not the kid's fault its his parents. But how do I tell my husband "your co-worker/friend and his wife are not welcome in my home. You didn't witness it but her actions pushed me to the edge and had it been anyone else's kid I probably would have spanked him on the spot, when he didn't listen! And then I would have cussed her out for yelling at me and giving me such a dirty look but I didn't and I don't ever want that to happen in my house again!" So I don't tell my husband I don't ever want them in my house again. Instead I just told him what happened and emphasize that I'm not really her friend like that.
Christmas day was wonderful. My husband spoils me rotten and he heard my wishes and went out and got me the mac book I really wanted. Now I must be the best student and the best attorney ever now that I have the most expensive computer love can buy lol. I try to spoil him but what do you buy for a man who has everything he wants and needs?

New Years Eve. Clearly this is a world wide celebration. And honestly I have no idea how the Japanese ring in the new year but I heard they do it big in Tokyo. We brought in the new year at a friends house with several of the other couples we like to hang out with. We had a potluck BBQ and watched stand up comedy. Then the men played spades as usual and us women just hung out and watched TV and talked. That one particular wife never showed up although she and her husband were invited by the hosts as a courtesy and her husband came briefly but left after he ate.
Olivia took a brief nap and was awake when the clock struck midnight. And my husband was right there to give me a new years kiss to bless our marriage with lots of love and success in the new year.

I think it goes without saying that the holidays are always hard when you spend them away from your family. For me it was really tough. This was the first time ever in my life that I had not spent Christmas with my parents and siblings. And to add insult to injury they are an entire day behind so we couldn't even get on Skype and open presents together. I didn't even get to watch my family open their presents. On my Christmas day I made it all the way to dinner without so much as a tear but then my older sister called and it reminded me of how much I love and miss my crazy family. Plus knowing that Olivia did not get to spend her first Christmas with her grandparents the way I did as a kid was heartbreaking but I guess that's just the downside of having such a tight knit family that, as crazy as they are, I love them and they are pretty much the coolest family on the planet. I think for me the hardest part is knowing that when I finally broke down and cried I knew it hurt my husband, not only because I know he feels bad that I can't be with my family because we are in Japan due to his job but also because I know part of him feels like he and Olivia are my family so I should be happy that the three of us get to spend our Christmas together. I know that there are many Christmas's to come that he won't be around because he will be on a boat somewhere and I cherish the time we get to spend together but that doesn't take away from the homesickness I feel mostly on Christmas because of the great memories and loving family I have.

So there you have it, the holidays in Japan. With all the drama and a little bit about how the Japanese celebrate...more like whether or not they celebrate. And now I am all caught up to the present so stay tuned for more adventures in the life of the Real House Wife of the Navy!