What has America come to?

As I sit here working on this post I am thinking about the case of Trayvon Martin, the countless missing Black children who the media has omitted from their head lines and sound bites. I am extremely saddened at the thought of a beautiful young man shot dead at the age of 17 and his murder has gone uninvestigated for over a month now. A young man in his early 20s was shot in Detroit by a convenience store clerk who refused to give the young man the correct amount of condoms for the money paid or a refund and the young man knocked over a rack of snacks, leading the clerk to shoot him. He was rushed to the hospital where he bled to death while his friends were accosted by hospital security. A young Middle Eastern woman was brutally beaten to death in San Diego (the place I called home for the past 3 years before moving to Japan). The attack on women in this presidential race is appalling. I fear for the future of my daughter. If my husband and I have a son he will look like Trayvon Martin.

I am angered and disgusted at the state of America today.  When I was a kid my parents never sugar coated stuff. My dad always told us he hoped things would be better for us, but in the mean time we are black kids growing up in white America. That means we must always watch what we do and say. In school we are told we can grow up and do and be whatever we want. Sadly for young black people in America like Trayvon they will never get that opportunity. As I sit here watching my 10 month old daughter play on my living room floor I say a silent prayer thanking God for such a beautiful and healthy little being and the opportunity HE has given me to raise her up, but I pray that no one ever finds her beautiful enough to take her from me. I pray she never goes missing. I pray that she never fall prey to predators like Trayvon's killer, or a pedophile or to human traffickers, because sadly I have seen the statistics and the reports that all tell me that there would be no justice for her. Those reports tell me that there is no room for her picture in the media is she should go missing and what's disgusting is that if the media did give her some attention it would only be to smear her name and suggest that it was her fault. I pray this prayer not only for her but for all the young children of color.

Justice for Trayvon Martin and all the other young people of color! Do we look suspicious???? Are we next? We wear our hoodies for all the injustices! 

Almost in tears I recognize that I have chosen the profession to which I am sitting here criticizing. Looking into the future I can only ask God to bless me with the opportunity to make changes to this system, so we can correct the injustices like that of Trayvon Martin, and the many others whom the media has left out.

As a child I never thought I would see the day that America would have a president that wasn't an old white guy. I cried when I watched the election and Obama was announced the winner and I cried even harder watching his inauguration. Although there have been things that I hoped he would accomplish in his 1st term that he has not done (mostly due to the republican party stalling at every turn and being downright defiant in willing to go to work for the American people) I can honestly say that I am proud to be an American because of President Obama's presidency. Sadly the downright racism that is going on is not only disrespectful to the President but to all people of color!

I pray that in my daughters lifetime there be a time when she does not have to worry about being the victim of a hate crime because she is a beautiful black woman.  I don't  want her to worry about whether or not she looks suspicious because she has on a hoodie. I want her to be proud of who she is and hold her head up high not scared or worried. I most certainly want her to never have to worry about whether or not she can go to the doctor because health insurance should never be an issue for her.

So today I held Olivia a little longer and hugged her a little tighter in hopes that she will recognize that she is loved and cared for; in hopes that it will protect her from harm; in knowing that I can't always be there to watch her every step but in cherishing every moment I get to spend with her. The disgusting crimes of hate and violence that have continued to occur over the past several months have reminded me that tomorrow is never promised and that I MUST cherish every moment I have.

And with that I will say, until next time just pray...

Time flies when...You're living life!

Since my last post so much has happened. Where do I start? Well I guess I will just jump right in! Since returning from Guam, we (my husband and I) have decided that we are going to put our plans to try for baby number 2 on hold. We decided that it would be less fun and definitely more difficult for me to travel if  I am pregnant and extremely more difficult to travel with Olivia and another little baby in tow. I guess that goes to show that we really enjoyed our vacation. Not to mention that we are really looking forward to doing more traveling and taking advantage of the opportunities presented to us while living in Japan. Plus Olivia is just now starting to get to the fun stages and is finally becoming independent where she can enjoy these vacations as well.

Since my last post Olivia has developed so much! In Guam Olivia started crawling practically overnight and when we returned home she started crawling like she has been doing it her entire life! I am fairly certain that the other kids at the daycare taught her to crawl. Speaking of daycare, Olivia is finally starting to enjoy daycare and I can tell because she no longer cries when I drop her off and she is busy playing and having fun when I get there to pick her up.  Sadly the child development center (CDC) here doesn't have permanent part time care. They just have permanent full time care or hourly care. If they had permanent part time I would have signed Olivia up a long time ago and had so much more free time on my hands.  But I try to sign her up for a couple of hours a week so she can socialize with other babies her age. Despite the germs I think its actually good for her and she is learning so much.
Olivia is also now eating so much table food. Bye bye baby food. She could care less about jarred food she wants food she can feed herself! Also if you have been following her weight gain issues, we finally got her seen by a pediatrician. Although she is not gaining a lot of weight and is in the very low percentiles we have been assured she is growing fine and developing in a healthy manner. She is physically strong and her  physical development/abilities are far surpassed most babies her age. We were told that she is simply just an efficient eater. She eats until she is full and she only needs 12-16 oz of fluids to be properly hydrated and that we should try to make that formula as much as possible. And as she gets older she will want formula less and less and food and water and juice more and more. So we were happy to have our questions finally answered and we left our appointment feeling more confident about the health of lil Olivia and assured that we are doing good as new parents.
Just last week Olivia finally decided that she could stand up on her own without holding on to anything. Then on St. Patricks day the luck of the Irish helped her get the courage to take 4 steps all on her own. I didn't really see it just the last step but then on Monday she was walking all over the gym while I was coaching. She is growing by leaps and bounds and everyday makes me more and more proud to be a mommy.  She loves going to the playground outside the backyard and loves going down the slide. She has turned into quite the big girl these days.

Recently my husband has been listening to me go on and on about how much I am dreading when he has to go back to a ship. His rate is ship bound which means professionally he is supposed to be on a ship the majority of his career. We met when he was on a ship and we got through the deployment and the out to seas and him being gone a lot. We made it work and got through it but now we are married and we have a kid and he is finally starting to see how much he would miss out on when he has to get deployed and all that. So after a discussion (more like several weeks worth of discussions) with his division officer and hours of research he has decided to apply to become an officer. The Navy has this program where enlisted sailors can apply to transfer from enlisted to officer. I really wanted him to do it because I thought it would be beneficial to him not just professionally but also financially. Plus it requires that he get his college degree. That right there was most important to me! That way if he decides he doesn't want to be a "lifer" he has an education to fall back on and has a much better chance of getting a job if and when he decides to get out of the Navy. Plus as much as I love Japan if he gets accepted (which he seems to think is something he will have to apply multiple times to get) we will have to leave Japan early and can go back to the states. My mom will love this. She misses her baby Olivia so much and I know that this has been incredibly hard on her having to watch her 1st and only grand baby to grow up from afar. Most of all it makes me feel so proud as a wife that my husband is taking steps professionally that will help him a great deal but also that he is thinking of me and Olivia so much that he is willing to trade his beloved job to try to become an officer.

So I am now just 3 credits away from getting my JD (Juris Doctor). It seems like just yesterday I was this scared 22 year old girl from the country moving to the big city of San Diego all by myself to start law school and what would be a whole new life. I am so blessed to finally be accomplishing my life long goal of going to law school. But when I made this goal I was in the fourth grade and I had no idea that after law school I would have to take and pass the bar in order to become a lawyer. So in all reality my goal is only half accomplished. But this journey thus far has been amazing and I wouldn't change any of it.

Over the past month I have been coaching a youth basketball game. A small group of 8, 5-6 year olds. They crack me up, but this has been the most fun but also the most challenging volunteer opportunity I have ever participated in. I have learned that these kids are great at one thing and not so great at another; working my nerves and playing basketball respectively. I love all of these kids though and I wouldn't take back volunteering at all. Some days the kids make me want to scream and then they make me want to cry with joy and pride. I have one kid on my team who seems like he has the most severe case of ADHD a 5 year old can have. He makes me want to quit everyday because he can't focus for more than 10 seconds. But then I have one kid who had never touched a basketball before the season and when we started he couldn't dribble other than dropping the ball and grabbing it when it bounced back up. Now he can dribble with one hand. Seeing him dribble the right way gives me such great pride and joy knowing that I helped him learn a skill that I have clearly taken for granted my entire life. I guess I don't remember learning to dribble or shoot (probably because my dad had us all pushing around basketball from the time we could crawl). For some it comes more naturally than it does to others but regardless seeing this young boy improve so much over the course of 4 weeks is so wonderful. Now if we could only get him to get that ball into the basket. He isn't quite strong enough to get the ball up high enough to get it into the 6 1/2 foot high basket but one day at practice he hit the rim and I think I was more excited for him than he was. Coaching has made me get up off my lazy ass and do something. It has encouraged me to be more active and start appreciating life. I now have started really paying attention to the food I put in my mouth, and trying to be more active! So to my team I say THANK YOU!!!

Over the past several months I have been more abundantly blessed than I know I deserve so I must give all the glory to God for that. Sorry for the delay in posting, but time flies when...you're living life! Until next time...